February 20, 2006

Times of London: VW Jetta 'Most Boring Car On Earth'

vw_life_hammer.jpgAnother in an ongoing series of posts to make sure no carmaker ever even thinks of advertising here: Jalopnik points to Jeremy Clarkson's awesomely devastating burial of the new Jetta in the Times of London, which includes such colorful descriptors as "coma," "dead," "box on your head" and--brace yourself--"Belgium".

On the bright side, one option I'd never heard of for the Jetta is a "life hammer (13.99)," which is meant to be used for breaking the windows out after an accident. Clarkson goes on, "But it could also be used by a passenger to hit you on the head when you start dribbling. Or as a tunnelling tool, like the rock hammer in The Shawshank Redemption. Because believe me, being trapped inside a Jetta is just like being trapped in a 1930s jail. You really would want to escape, whatever the cost. "

Volkswagen Jetta: Well done VW, it's the most boring car in history [timesonline.co.uk via jalopnik]
To calibrate Clarkson's review, check out his grudging appreciation of the Audi A6 Avant
Buy a VW Life Hammer, only $15.30 in the US [vw.com]


hrrrmm. i am the happy owner of a 2005 jetta 5-speed tdi and while it's not exactly the bees knees i'm not sure it warrants the "most boring car on earth" award. sure, it's "understated", but the tdi gets 50 m.p.g. ( 80 m.p.k ). but then again, my previous car was a camry, so maybe i'm just into boring cars which is why i need to prove i'm a real man by cruising in antique muscle cars.

Really? Top Gear, especially Clarkson, gave the Golf GTI a rave. Said it was better than the BMW 130i on all fronts. Funny what a little suspension and additionaal power will do.

LOL, my buddy got his wife one of those hammers. It has a flashlite and set of screwdrives too. She's a little paranoid about being trapped in the car if it went into water. Don't ask...

Obviously, this guy at the Times has never driven a US-spec Toyota Camry. Boring would be a step up for that car.

You in Britain are lucky.

You have been spared the Toyota Camry. The previous poster mentioned the US-spec one. Much like the Australian one.

Truly, the most boring car ever made, especially the 07 model. At least you could get a V6 in some of the old ones.

Fat, bloated, shaped like a loaf of bread, and designed never, never, never to frighten the driver. Awful accelleration (the engine is too small for the car), spongy rolling suspension that was probably designed by a mattress manufacturer, an automatic transmission that is permanently set to 'grandma', and an interior designed to appeal to grey suited Japanese salary-men only.

The Bora is exciting compared to the Camry. Scarily, the Camry sells very well.

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