Another in an ongoing series of posts to make sure no carmaker ever even thinks of advertising here: Jalopnik points to Jeremy Clarkson's awesomely devastating burial of the new Jetta in the Times of London, which includes such colorful descriptors as "coma," "dead," "box on your head" and--brace yourself--"Belgium".
On the bright side, one option I'd never heard of for the Jetta is a "life hammer (¬£13.99)," which is meant to be used for breaking the windows out after an accident. Clarkson goes on, "But it could also be used by a passenger to hit you on the head when you start dribbling. Or as a tunnelling tool, like the rock hammer in The Shawshank Redemption. Because believe me, being trapped inside a Jetta is just like being trapped in a 1930s jail. You really would want to escape, whatever the cost. "
Volkswagen Jetta: Well done VW, it's the most boring car in history [timesonline.co.uk via jalopnik]
To calibrate Clarkson's review, check out his grudging appreciation of the Audi A6 Avant
Buy a VW Life Hammer, only $15.30 in the US [vw.com]