September 2, 2005

Beyond BabyDome

Looks like the ThudGuard has some Australian competition, at least in the product naming department. The "HEAD BUMPA˘ [tm of course, because you wouldn't want to see a whole bunch of counterfeit Head Bumpas for sale on Canal St] is more of a foam harness than a helmet, closer in design to the original Puddin'heads of old, when the governess would just wrap a towel around a kid's head and be done with it.

The "HEAD BUMPA˘ is not just for Australians, though, it "is distributed worldwide through normal postal methods."

mad_max_babydome.jpgWhich makes me wonder, now that the kids are protected worldwide, why don't we see more baby cagematches:

  • Beyond Babydome Get a couple of these and one of these, throw in a band of Burning Man-looking orphans and a psycho with a messiah complex. For music, how about those mixtapes you made in jr. high, the ones you still can't bring yourself to throw away for some reason?
  • Babysport: a coked up Belgian orphan stumbles onto an indiscriminately Asian underworld gambling operation and must fight in slow motion to save his honor.
  • Babyfights: Screw all that, just stop trimming the kids' fingernails for a couple of weeks, take their pacifiers away, and let them go at each other. You let me tape it, and I'll give ya fifty bucks. Tattoo my logo on your kid's face, and I'll throw in a t-shirt.

    Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta go make some calls.

    [Update: Um, yes, I just realized you could probably do a shot-for-shot remake of Mad Max in New Orleans right now and call it Beyond Superdome, and it would be supremely unfunny. In fact, it's getting less and less funny as I type this.]

  • 4 Comments

    Here's a roundup of other pudding caps.

    Pudding caps, then and now

    "you wouldn't want to see a whole bunch of counterfeit Head Bumpas for sale on Canal St"

    Not like it's stopped the vendors of Canal St. from selling the Star Wars flicks while they were still in theaters.

    I'm just saying.

    Watch while all the patent legal attorneys start crawling out of the wood work! LOL

    My money is on the Thudguard coming out top here!

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