April 16, 2008

It's Just A Boob Job: A Book To Explain Plastic Surgery To Your Kids


My Beautiful Mommy is a new book by Dr. Michael Salzhauer, a plastic surgeon in North Miami Beach. It helps kids understand why mommy is getting a tummy tuck and a nose job, but it doesn't mention anything about her newly enhanced breasts. Dr. Salzhauer said he thought "the breasts might be a stretch for a six-year-old."

Salzhauer said he wrote the book--whose hero is a guy named Dr. Mike, who clearly knows his way around a pec implant--because he noticed that his clients were coming into his office with "kids in tow." Wait, what the hell? Nannies in Miami make enough to afford boob jobs??

4/15/08: Kids' Book on Plastic Surgery [newsweek via boingboing]
4/16/03: New Children's Book Helps Kids Deal With Pain And Isolation Of Plastic Surgery [theonion]
Pre-order My Beautiful Mommy, $19.95 from waiting room books distributor Big Tent Books [bigtentbooks]

previously: It's Just A Plant: A book to explain marijuana to your kids


This is awesome! Man, I love this country.

They really should make this a continuing series of books. Possible future titles: "When Bad Botox Happens to Good People" and "When Can I Get Older, Can I Get a Nose Job too, Mommy?"

I would think, after daddy sees all this enhancement, the follow-up would be "My Beautiful New Baby Brother"

Does it deal with "mommy hates herself because she looks like me" at all? WTF?!

Nannies in Miami make enough to afford boob jobs??

Somebody clearly didn't watch CSI Miami the other night. I can't believe I just admitted I sometimes watch CSI....

[all I know about Floridian boob jobs, I learned from "Nip/Tuck." -ed.]

This is so bad, it's "sauteed in wrong sauce", as the saying goes.

Wow, I actually could've used this book when I babysat for a friend while she got hers done. I left all the explaining to the parents. (Though the 8 yr. old knew she was having something done. I told her to see if she could figure it out!)

Does the Dr charge patients for this book or hand it out with all the other pamphlets?

[I'm sure it'll be free with purchase. For non-patients, you can order it. I just added the link -ed.]

I guess I'm old-fashioned. I figure if I'm about to do something that I can't honestly explain to the kids, I probably shouldn't DO it in the first place. But what the heck do I know -- the last time I watched one of those plastic-surgery-is-fun TV shows, it was about a mother and daughter going in for matching boob jobs. I guess I should feel sorry for my kids; they're going to be so out of place, being saddled with all those annoying VALUES and crap.

According to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons (ASPS), in 2006 procedures performed on kids ages 13 to 19 were 244,124, including approximately 47,000 nose jobs and 9,000 breast augmentations.

Oh that’s rich. I love it. The breasts might be a stretch, but stretching out the stomach isn’t. The title suggests your mom wasn’t beautiful until she had the surgery. This tells the kids that they also need surgery to be pretty. Kids are more influenced by their peers than parents, but if the parents are doing it, then the kids won’t fear their parents standing in the way of also doing it. The ‘my parents do it, so why can’t I,” attitude will also come into play

The media has already paved the way for influencing society and especially our youth to drastically modify their bodies. But to have parent’s explain to their kids the benefits and acceptance of plastic surgery will only exacerbate the problem. It is giving the kids bad coping skills. If you can’t meet the expectations of society, then simply get surgery.

While I'm not sure about the book, it's just plastic surgery, for god's sake. It annoys me that people justify fixing their own "flaws", yet they are so quick to judge people who get implants. I don't have or want them, but that's not the point. To you nose-job haters, if you break a tooth, I don't want to see you anywhere near the dentist's office. You wouldn't want to cave in to society, now would you?

Let me guess, he got his artist from posting a craigslist ad that said "Great for job for experience exposure! Will accept students!" BTW, did mom consider reducing the size of her man hands?

And double BTW, Kate, breaking a tooth and RESTORING it is different than having the nose or tits you were born with CHANGED.

Beg pardon, Mark, but people can and do break noses, you don't have tits, and no one is BORN with any teeth.

[he doesn't have tits as big as Dr. Mike's, anyway. It's just that the way I remember it, no one found out they had a deviated septum until high school. -ed.]

Deviated septum! That's why my mother got her's done. Kate, you're comparing apples and oranges. repair is different than changing what ain't broke. I'm not saying I'm against purely cosmetic surgery. I'm just say comparison you're making is completely fallacious. Me thinks you've gotten yourself a little snip snip you're guilty about. You don't need to prove anything to us.

[actually, I, the editor, added the comment about deviated septums, precisely because in the past there was more of a stigma about elective plastic surgery. People, especially kids, hid behind the deviated septum story. now, they get surgery for their birthday, and at a much younger age. Or so I hear. It's one of those things I have zero firsthand knowledge of, so I'm stuck regurgitating media anecdotes. shaky. -ed.]

"I guess I'm old-fashioned. I figure if I'm about to do something that I can't honestly explain to the kids, I probably shouldn't DO it in the first place."

... must make for a dull sex life.

Looks like the world definitely needs a book explaining lower-back tattoos, then. Lord knows *I* do.

I love how the plastic surgeon fashioned himself into a plain clothes Superman. Is there a scene with him not sitting behind a desk that shows him well-endowed, too?

So it turns out this is a self-publish job from a vanity publisher. See Making Light and Writes Like She Talks for more info

[nice work, and thanks for the links. I hope that if I ever self-publish a book, Newsweek will be so kind as to whip it up into a national panic for me, too. -ed.]

Also, Mommy's clearly not a plebe, 'cause she's driving a BMW X5. No minivan for My Beautiful Mommy!

This is sure to do well out here in L.A.

Especially down in Orange County.

Plastic surgery aside, I wish I had a book to explain to my 3 yr old girl why her indestructible daddy has huge boo-boo's on his belly because he had to have unexpected gallbladder removal surgery.

She actually ran away in full terror--literally crying and screaming--when at her request I showed her my lacerations a week after I got home.

I seriously wonder how this will affect her sense of security.

Damn. I just made myself sad.

Oh, Mark, of course I have. But I honestly had a deviated septum, just like your mom! And the only thing I feel guilty about is coming back to this forum to see what other amusing comments you may have left. ;)

And MCF, your daughter will see you heal and realize that not even those horrific wounds could keep down her daddy. Indestructible doesn't have to mean that you never get hurt, it can mean that you always get back up.

Stop bickering, my ears are bleeding botox.

I had plastic surgery. They injected botox into my back muscles. Helps to stop pain. Gonna be a tough one to explain to the boy.

On FOX news today, they actually talked about this book. They had a couple doctors discussing the ramifications of revealing plastic surgery to kids.
Someone should make a book with Michael Jackson as the cartoon character explaining the benefits of surgery, by being able to put on a new nose to match your outfit.

Kate, thanks much and you're spot on.

It's the getting there that's the hard part and seeing her fear/anxiety/frustration that's the tricky bit for both of us--those messages will sink in well in a couple weeks, i think.

Obviously, it's not easy trying to explain to your little ones why you can't pick up them up into your arms...

My mother didn't have a deviated septum and probably neither did you. Her doctor suggested it as a way to get the insurance company to pay for it. But, hey, the health care system works against you most of the time so its ok by me to cheat it once in a while.

How about the truth?? "Mommy wanted her perky breasts back, hunny" or "Mommy likes her tummy without the flap of stretched skin, sweetie" It's just a body... it's not a soul.

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