February 6, 2015

People Decorating Princess Nurseries Horribly

Placeholder image of a Lisa Corson photo of a mom who got a blowout and put on a cocktail dress to appear in Corson's photoshoot about princess fantasy nurseries, in a Newport Beach princess fantasy nursery, said placeholder which will remain until Corson's copyright claims over fair use of this image are resolved.

When we were having the first kid, except for David Netto's white lacquered moderne thing and like one Stickley woodshop in Sonoma, there was literally no way to spend more than $500 on a nursery without it looking like a scroll- and curlicue-covered, antique white- or mahogany-stained mafia princess boudoir.

Point is, there has always been a market for horrible, tacky, frilly, gaudy, pinnacle-y, gilt-y, jigsawed, beadazzled, turret-y, overpriced, ostentatious garbage furniture for children whose parents' first, second, and last impulse in life is to throw a dumpsterful of dumb money at whatever comes along. And according to the Wall Street Journal, they're still going strong.

There is literally nothing to be done. Ours is a mediated culture where women will project materialistic, superficial princess fantasy onto their tiny daughters in order to fabricate their interior decorating portfolio, or to land a spot on Real Housewives of Newport Beach, and they'll feel like the best parents in the world doing it.

Photo by Lisa Corson of a too-small, tacky-as-hell pink chandelier with crowns and cut crystal elements which I imagined could just as easily be forged from the ashes of the dead of a post-apocalyptic California, which image has been removed while the photographer and I sort out the fundamental definitions of fair use and copyright infringement.

glamour_girl_wsj_wtf_chandelier.jpg
UPDATE: Here's the chandelier, it's called the Glamour Girl Crown Chandelier. It is $406, with your choice of shades, and catalogue copy that truly and pertfectly matches the chandelier itself. Picture this image with a pink background, and then stick a contingency lawyer behind that, and you have the disputed picture down pat.

The pink and blue thing is never going away, not even when the oceans rise up and drown Miami and a dessicated, deserted California crumbles into dust. Somewhere in The Capitol or on Elysium, a space mining mogul's concubine will be outfitting a nursery with an elaborate but too small chandelier covered with crowns and pink Swarovski crystals forged from the ashes of the dead of the earth.

Princess Rooms That Rule [wsj via marginalrevolution]
update: images: lisa corson for the wall street journal. photographer's portfolio site: lisacorsonphotography

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