November 30, 2005

Fresh From The Oven: Hot Push Present Suggestions

crowning_earrings.jpgYou think any old 4-carat diamond'll do for a push present? Maybe, just in case your wife thinks such a skating rink is a bit tacky, some selfless companies and designers out there want to help. Here's a very incomplete list:

  • THE BIRTH DIAMONDô from Baby Gund, the teddy bear people. It's a diamond set into a 14k gold bearhead-shaped pendant. They come in sizes from newborn [1/2 ct., $3950] to micropreemie [1/10 ct. $620] at artictulip.com.
  • If a pregnant Manhattanite is expecting something very specific for giving up her size 0 jeans for six weeks just so you can have an heir, it's probably a gold/enamel/diamond baby shoe from Madison Avenue charm bracelet magnate Aaron Basha. They run from $1,200 to $6,200.
  • She may also be expecting you to get her a Birkin Bag from Hermes, but I wouldn't venture into that minefield of skins and colors and waiting lists if you paid me. Just give her a $9,000 check wrapped in a Canal St. knockoff instead.
  • For my parenting dollar, the motherlode [sic] of birth jewelry [sic] is at MidwiferyToday.com, which offers not only newborn-shaped earrings {$12] which are "the size of an 8-week-old fetus," and "Womb With A View" pendants [$100] and earrings [$40/pr, $20 single, a thoughtful option for people who think two in utero fetuses dangling from their ears is too much, but one is just right], and--I hope you're sitting down with wallets out--Crowning Earrings [$40/pr, $20/single], in the presence of which I am left in speechless awe. Just like at the moment of birth itself, kinda.

  • 8 Comments

    Now if only DeBeers and the Midwifery Today people would get together...

    Those earrings are un-freaking-beleivable! I am suprised they don't have fetus earrings. Well ... wait. Those do exist.

    About the crowning earrings....note the site says these are a nice gift for a new midwife, NOT a new mother!

    Ah yes, diamonds. Nothing celebrates the birth of a new life more than drugs, warlords, and huge monopolistic corporate profits!

    Oh my. Those crowning earrings are interesting.

    I myself prefer silver or hand crafted jewellery. Not diamond and gold.

    [wow, then I guess it's a happy coincidence you work for a jewelry website: "Earrings are a fashion accessory that makes us look smart and add chic to our appearance." -ed.]

    Is that a woman's "Va J. J."????? UGHHHH!!!

    are you freakin' kidding me? those have got to be the most distasteful thing i have seen in a loooooong time, if ever. if i ever saw someone wearing them, i'd die laughing. seriously people?

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