July 29, 2013

Circumcisions, Going Down

It didn't make any more sense, but it really felt like a breakthrough when, in the course of the circumcision debate, we were able to see that "a boy soiled look like his dad" really meant, at some unspoken level, "if he doesn't get cut, he'll never get laid."

Now we can drill down on this concept, thanks to The Atlantic's Shawnee Barton, who recently surveyed her friends' pediatric penile practices. The finding:

For example, one of my husband's ex-jock friends wrote a surprisingly thoughtful, persuasive, and well reasoned emailed argument to my husband in favor of circumcising our son. After the analysis though, his final--and key--factor was, "And it's hard enough for a guy to get blowjobs as it is." Shockingly, the misguided belief that uncircumcised men have more difficulties procuring oral sex is shared beyond the male college athlete demographic. An OBGYN mother-in-law asked my friend, who was carrying her grandson-to-be at the time: "Don't you want him to get blow jobs some day?"
Yes, right. So now we need to find out how the uncut 80-whatever percent of male humanity is faring on the blowjob front. And then let's find out what excuses jocks are being told when they're not getting any. All vital information for people to have before deciding to cut off part of their infant son's penis. Circumcision Science marches on!

The Circumcision Wars: What's a Parent to Do? [theatlantic]

1 Comment

Not to minimize the magnitude of this decision but these debates often overstate the long-term implications of circumcision vs. no circumcision, particularly relative to other parenting choices that will get much less attention. I haven't seen the science on this but I would bet that something like guitar lessons will have a greater impact on the kid's oral sex chances than what his penis looks like. If grandma is so concerned, maybe she could put a little bit of money away for a trip to Sam Ash.

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