May 17, 2012

The Last Wiggle Standing

The Wiggles have been trying to morph from actual people into mindless, mass producible, perpetually monetizable branded characters for years, even before "Greg Wiggle" got sick in 2006 and was replaced by Sam Moran as "The Yellow Wiggle."

And now according to anonymous "Wiggles insider" sources leaking to the Courier Mail, the Wiggly douchebaggery surrounding Moran's sudden firing last January--and the public backlash at same--has prompted Jeff and Murray Wiggle to retire. And Greg, who's still pretty sick, not to mention old, just retired again. And now all three have been replaced by random, 20-something backup singers.

Which leaves just one Original Wiggle, Anthony:

"Murray and Jeff are getting older and they've been thinking about this (retirement) for ages," the insider said.

"And Greg is still a very sick man. Their last concerts were duds and the ill-feeling towards them after Sam left really pushed them to do it."

Tired of the gruelling touring schedule and suffering from ill-health, Fatt and Cook had been agitating to leave the group for years but had been persuaded to stay by their unofficial leader, Anthony Field.

Fatt, 58, underwent emergency heart surgery last year to have a pacemaker fitted. He also performs in a brace to deal with his chronic back problems.

Whoa, that is a harsh Wiggles insider. Also, 58. Pacemakers and back braces.

Also, "unofficial leader Anthony Field," who is now the last Wiggle standing. Which just goes to show you, it IS always the dopey ones you gotta watch out for.

Wiggles revamp prompted by public backlash over Sam Moran's axing [ via the awl]
Previously: Beauty, Mate! Now get lost!


Sadly, it may be time to retire the Wiggles. Can't do much Wiggling with one.

Saw one of the final performances recently with the kids. It was really great and they loved it. The guys were all really energetic. I would be so lucky to have that much energy. It is great that one of the new Wiggles will be a woman. Some more diversity in the line up would have been great though.

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