October 1, 2009

Huge Private Dicks Offer 'Covert Pregnancy Testing'


TPM Muckraker has some wacked out story about a freaky private army run by an ex-con in the OC which got a 10-year contract to run an empty prison in some podunk Montana town.

Among the company, American Police Force's other offerings: kidnapping and ransom, rendition, WMD transport and sale--and "covert pregnancy testing." You know, to see if your spouse is cheating on you:

Infidelity, Adultery, Cheating, and being unfaithful might all have a different definition in your mind but at APF its a category all by its lonesome. Married husbands and wives will typically call untrustworthy loved ones adultery or infidelity. In the non-marital relationships its commonly known as cheating and we can help you figure out what's really going on.

Methods We Use for Cheating Spouses

o Surveillance
o Polygraph Examination Lie Detection
o Semen Testing
o Bodily Fluid Testing
o DNA for Hair and Skin
o Covert Pregnancy Testing

Here's the cached webpage, which includes the rest of their Cheating Division's services--plus that awesome photo. [via tpm]
Actually, it looks like a standard surveillance offering [international counterintelligence services, inc]

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