June 26, 2009

DT Replays Michael Jackson's Greatest Hits

What more could be said about Michael Jackson that hasn't already been said here on Daddy Types? Really, I got nothing. So without further ado, here is the complete anthology of MJ-related DT posts. Summer 2007 was clearly a peak:

July 2006:"Yeah, Daddy, what IS up with that?"

Just as veterans of WWII came home and never talked to their families about the horrors they experienced, you should never try to explain to your kid how, back in the 80's, Michael Jackson and Eddie Murphy were the biggest, most popular stars around,
Nov. 2006: "Michael Jackson Is Insane, Ch. MMVI"
I did not know Michael Jackson actually calls that kid "Blanket." I thought it was just a tabloid nickname.

Of course, Blanket is the realest to me of all "Jackson's" kids, thanks to the untouchably awesome ftrain.com, a blog written by one of my heroes, Paul Ford.

Mar. 2007: Free To Blow My Freakin' Mind: Free To Be...You And Me, already cited below.

June 2007: "Cadillac To Offer First Station Wagon Since The Jackson 5ive"

It had a television and footrests in the back. If it had a rear-facing seat, then you know where Marlon was relegated after his beatings. What Papa Joe said went, and if you couldn't dance like Michael, you couldn't watch TV like Michael. [Glad that all turned out so well.]
June 2007: "Dur Dur d'Etre Bebe Whose Parents Totally Exploited The Hell Out Of You"
"Mon fils Jordy sera le Michael Jackson de l'an 2000!" [no translation needed.]
July 2007: "1,500 Philippine Prisoners Practice 'Thriller' [an instant classic]

Mar. 2008: "The Custom Playmobil Kid Is Not My Son":

Of course, an aesthetically altered, plastic Michael Jackson is sort of redundant. Funny, but redundant.
Feb. 2009: The Skeeving Of Lot 1069: Little Kid Stuff From The Michael Jackson Auction
Never having visited Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch myself, I can only assume that you entered it through a giant gate carved with the phrase, "Abandon all commonly accepted notions of the term 'age appropriate' all ye who enter here."

The place was the pure, unrestrained physical manifestation of the desires of a lonely, damaged small child--who won like five lotteries.

Apr 2009: Neverland auction canceled because no one even showed up to the preview.

1 Comment

Just like Elvis, MJ had his prime years then after those went by, he was a complete mess!!

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