OK, if I ever go to prison, my only hope is that I'll be able to do my time wisely. Perhaps learn a trade, a skill, a talent. Maybe there'll be a choreographer with a varied repertoire of numbers that ran from Japanese children's television ninja dances to, oh I don't know, Whoopi Goldberg, Freddie Mercury, and Michael Jackson.
Then I could learn to follow my own dream and become a dancer. And after I got out, perhaps I could get a job in Hong Kong, where my old cellblockmate with the receding hairline and the haltar top does her drag cabaret on Tuesdays, five flights up a dingy, unmarked staircase in Lan Kwai Fong.
And while I wouldn't be able to see my kid more than once a year, at least she'd be able to watch me on YouTube. And when she's old enough to watch VH1, and sees "Thriller" v1.0 for the first time, she'll be all, "Hey, he's doing my daddy's zombie dance!"
1,500 inmates of the Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center practice "Thriller" [youtube via boingboing]
And because it's Friday: 1,700 Philippine inmates performing the finale and some other song from Sister Act, then bring the whole thing home with a rendition of Queen's "Radio GaGa" [youtube.com]
Previously: God Bless America, even though our prisoners can't do Algorithm March