January 29, 2009

Survey Says....Moms Are Pretty Pissed


Yow. Parenting.com has the results of a survey of 10,000 MomConnection moms, and they are pissed. And it's not about the impending demise of Wondertime, either. It's the self-centered bums who knocked them up and then don't remember when peanut-free snack day is. Or something.

I just took a Nyquil, so I'm not going to be reading the statistically invalid findings tonight. But the wrap-up from the NY Times' Lisa Belkin and friends makes me--hey, whaddya know? The very idea of discussing some indiscriminate, self-selecting mob's reactions to imperfect, incomplete, one-sided anecdotes about peoples' expectations of parenting and gender roles is making me sleepy.

Love ya! See ya here on the Feud!

Mad at Dad [parenting.com]
Are All Moms Mad at Dad? [nyt]


I felt the article felt more like a amateurish, one-sided dad-bashing rant than a balanced, well-researched article. There seem to be a lot of percentages thrown around (without sourcing) that are tilted to prove the teleological theory that dads suck (i.e. "31% of moms say their husbands don't help with the chores -- in fact, they generate more" or "33% of moms say their husbands aren't shouldering equal responsibility..."). Um, yeah I guess that means that the majority, upwards of 69 and 67 percent do. Using a quote from a parent that has "...been married for four years, though they separated temporarily after the birth of their daughter..." says more about the state of the marriage of the couple than bolster any theory put forth by Martha Brockenbrough.

The role of the traditional family has changed. There are plenty of dads who multi-task, do chores, make dinner every night and put the kids to bed. I know in my two-income home, the parenting is pretty evenly shared--otherwise things would just never get done. To read this in parentS (with an S) magazine just disappoints me. As a parent who is very much involved with the day-to-day never-ending responsibilities of parenting I feel increasingly marginalized by articles like this. I am hoping my wife and I are simply subscribing to the wrong magazines.

I guess shrill, shrieking nagging had nothing to do with the author's 'deaf' husband...

Sure, plenty of guys are hairy, lazy, meatheads. Guess what, ladies? Not only did you marry them, but you are, in all likelihood, not perfect either. Also of interest, if the husband was not supportive after the first child, WHY continue to breed? I only ask since almost every mom in the article appears to have 3 children.

As a stay-home dad (voluntarily, not laid-off/fired) I am pretty much with my son every minute of nearly every day. And not only do s@h dads get to do the traditional 'mommy' stuff, like laundry, runs to the doc, trips to activities, and grocery shopping, many still get to do all the 'daddy' stuff too, like mowing, snow shoveling, leak fixing, leaf raking, etc, etc as well.

This article would have been interesting ONLY if they had separately surveyed BOTH parents and compared the results. Then perhaps we would have gotten a result of some substance, rather than the Oprah-like, teary, whine-fest this article was.

What a waste of ink. That the NYT expended more ink on the story is even worse. "46% of moms get irate with their husbands once a week or more"? Who DOESN'T get irate with the person/people they live with?

In my house both mom and dad work from sun up to sun down. That means earning money, taking care of the house or taking care of the kids. As long as you are doing something productive you generally don't get into too much trouble. Our arguments generally result from a disagreement in prioritizing tasks ie. why are you shoveling the drive instead of putting the kids to bed. The other issue is approach to tasks. What I consider "watching the kids" means is sometimes different from her interpretation. Bottom line is you gotta lighten up to survive. As long as no one is dead you can always work it out and try to do better tomorrow.

I should have read this early today before I got the boys fed and dressed, one to day care, gave the sick one all his meds, fed him, got him down for his nap, cleaned the kitchen, paid the bill's, showered and got ready for my 1/2 day of work, changed the now awake and happy sick one, then met my wife at the Pediatrician’s office to do the hand off. I guess I should have been sitting on my ass watching Sportscenter.

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