January 12, 2005

UrbanBabyWatch: When Putting Down The Seat Just Isn't Enough

This just in from Urban Baby's Toddler message boards, a fast and furious discussion that DT reader Raquel wanted to share right away [quoted verbatim and without commentary because, honestly, I don't know what to say. Except that 'dh' is 'darling husband']:

A guy in my office just admitted his wife makes him piss sitting down (for germ reasons). Anyone else think there is a chance in hell they could get their dh to do this?

* Wish I could!
* mine does. is it that rare? i didn't insist, he was brought up that way. maybe it's a cultural thing?
o Mine does as well.
o European? My father is Greek and he does this. - I only know b/c my mom told me ;)
+ Poster above -UK
o Mine does. I'm not sure why. I had nothing to do with it-- though I'm happy about the clean bowl!

# In Germany women yell at men if they pee standing up. They think it's unclean.

# My dh used to live with his grandparents as a teenager & grandma insisted both dh & grandpa sit down to pee so she wouldn't have a terrible time cleaning up after them. He still does it to this day (at home only) & I'm grateful.

# OMG! my dh's reaction would be "go f^ck off, you mental case!"

* same here. how whipped does one have to be?

+ first of all he should be lifting the seat to pee - then there would be no reason at all for you to have to touch it!

+ or: are you kidding me? meanwhile, it's just your dh's pee. if it gets you on your thighs you wipe it off. you're not rolling around in it, are you?

# Mine does it already. He grew up in a house of women and I'm guessing that they tormented him so much about the seat that it was just easier that way. Very good for me since he is definitely NOT the type to put the seat down.

# that was in about schmidt as i recall.

# why don't you just castrate your DHs completely and then you won't have any trouble at all!

* stupidest response of the day!

o no it's not, ITA. It's completely emasculating to ask a man to pee sitting down. What if he made you pee standing up?

# I'm just wondering how you ever got a co-worker to admit that

* We were all chatting, and of course the conversation turned to sports and I kept trying to change the subject. It went from Brad and Jen, to Donald Trump, who we all guessed had a gold plated toilet seat, to which I admitted I have fallen into the toilet a few times or sat on the lid when I did not look, at this point colleague (who is not american) casually admitted it. The men in the office looked at him with such pity. It was hysterical.

o very cute

# Even my ds stands (he's 4.5).

# My ds still likes to pee sitting down.

# I don't make mine sit, but I would if he didn't clean up his own dribbles

* would you stand over him to observe said tinkling too to make sure he abides by your wishes?

o wtf is your problem? Do you like pools of piss on your bathroom floor?

+ No, I tell dh to clean the toilet when he does, and he's very neat about it, it's ds who sprays a bit. I just can't imagine telling a grown man the method he must use to relieve himself, LOL

# I thought pee was sterile!
# mine does too - his mom taught him to do it that way so he didnt make a mess - i was suprised the first time i saw him do it actually

* I'm sure he never got any ribbing from his male peers either...

# i've tried to...my poor dh has such bad aim...and it really creeps me out

# my dh sits when he has a boner or else he would pee everywhere

* Love this answer

# you have got to be kidding.

# I'm stuck either way... my dh is 6' 5" so his aim standing up is deplorable (long way down, I guess). sitting, he pees out the front of the lid because he forgets to aim it down. I'm resigned to more frequent floor cleaning because he flatly denies that the splotches on the floor and rim (no matter how yellow) could possibly be HIS urine. Makes me insane.

* OMG! I for the longest time assumed I was making those splotches! I never could understand why I was aiming wrong but never did it occur to me that DH was peeing sitting down! I cant wait to get home!

o For real? I mean, unless you do the hula while you pee, how could it possibly be you?? Men aim badly, period.


Love the potty talk. Men should sit whenever they can.

When I have to go at my apartment or someone else's place I always sit down. It's so much easier. And you can think about other stuff rather than "OK now... aim... aim... OH GOSH... WHOOPS... no not the magazine rack!". When I sit I zone out and sometimes I sit there a little while after I'm finished just for fun. Or you can easily make the transition to make a little poo. It just makes sense. Form follows function.

As you know we're SO close to having our first baby, and I'm wondering what we should use for names (for #1 and #2). I dont know what my parents were thinking in 1968 - me and my sisters grew up saying "tinkle" and (how embarassing) "foo-foo". Can you believe that? I remember kids at school laughing at me coz I said "foo-foo".

whoa. at first I was like, "if 'Tinkle' and 'Foo-foo' are your number #1 and #2 names, I can guaran-damn-tee you that kid'll get laughed at at school. Don't EVEN name him that."

We called a penis a "teeter." That still makes me laugh when I think about it.

One question I have is how this woman enforces the peeing sitting down rule. Does she watch him every time he goes? Who has the time?

There are no germs in urine. It's almost always a sterile fluid, unless there's a urinary tract infection.

Men should always be considerate and lift the seat when urinating, then put it back down when you're done. And if you splashed take some tissue and wipe it off. However, women out there demanding their man sit down while peeing are either blind to the fact or don't give a damn that they are emasculating their men. Get a pair gentlemen. If you feel like sitting then sit. But not because someone told you to.
Oh, and call it pee and poo. Neither are dirty and neither are silly.

Why is it that men have to lift the seat when they pee, then put the seat back down? Why don't we leave the seat up and ask women to put the seat down when they use the toilet, then put it back up when done?

Every once in a while, to annoy my wife, I'll yell "All right! Who left the seat down!?!?"

Sitting on the pot doesn't mean you have to give up your Mancard. For the ladies, once the baby becomes interested in the toilet, your man will start sitting. Especially if you force him to clean the toilet every week. When we got a cat and the cat fell in, I started sitting, especially at night. And I'm not ashamed. No splashing, no vision related aim issues. All good. Otherwise, get one of those redlight/greenlight toilet things and you at least won't have to worry about falling in.

Personally I think men and women should both put the toilet lid down. Not only is it fairer that way--you both have to lift the lid and/or the seat--it's safer.

It's fine if Elvis died on the pot, but I don't want my kid drowning in the toilet because we were too lazy or too picky about who left the lid up.

Sitting on the pot by your choice is fine. Sitting on the pot under the demands of your woman speaks for itself.

My hubby can pee however he likes, the bathroom is his responsibility to clean. :) (I have the kitchen.)

I change up techniques depending on cleanliness of bathroom or physical state (exhausted or awake). My WW does not dictate how I go. I have been berated into moving the seat up and down. Because of my passive aggressive nature, I have berated her into making sure that all SEAT COVERS are down just for fun. As for urine, as long as you don't have a UTI, it is sterile. Additionally, because of the short female urethra and depending on the angle of their pelvis when they sit, women could splash just as much. Women should be careful to blame their man for collateral damage to the front or underside of the seat.

My husband is 6'4, my toilet isn't!!! It isn't a matter of mis-aiming mostly, its a matter of the splatter!!! Last year our wooden seat broke so I had to replace it so, my husband was out of town and I had to do it! The bolts were welded shut with tinklesplatter. Needless to say, I tried everything, even a welder's torch, and let me tell'ya, you can burn porcelain! I got it off, with enough bike grease to coat a slip and slide! I have asked and asked and then asked again if he wouldn't mind sitting whilst tinkling....he just looks at me like I'm crazy and I punish my teenager by dictating bathroom duty to her!

One more thing about giving things like Poo or genitals cutsey names....
My mother used to take a strong dislike to pet names for things like a vag. or a pen. however, it all came to an embarassing end one day. It was probably in our first few months in North America, with very basic english, and my mother was ignoring my sisters pleas to go the bathroom; too busy shopping. Needless to say, at one point my sister shouted, to the entire store, "MAMA, my vag. is itchy and I have to urinate"...that pretty much shut down literal terminology for the rest of us. Nowadays and with my own, we call it a punpun and for boys, neenoo for the frank and noonees for the beans!!


Why not just stick with frank and beans? But boy o' boy do I hope I have a son one day (2 daughters) so I can call it a neenoo and his noonees. My husband wont have any of it.

hmm. this whole topic seemed so much more amusing on UrbanBaby... or Laid-Off Dad...

I must admit that, like Paul, I enjoy peeing sitting down from time to time. Especially the first one of the morning when I'm too tired to bother to stand.

It's amazing how much people love talking (bitching) about this subject. I think I gotta find a urination angle for my blog.

Are these ladies all married to henchmen from James Bond movies?? It's not exactly that hard to hit a bowl 2 feet across from three feet away. Unless your priapritic....

I'd say once a month I get a little side spray that requires I use two squares of TP to wipe off the seat.

I can almost hear this one woman yelling "I can't have my weak, overmothered husband doing anything that might hurt the weak overmothered child I am raising!"

Personally, there is nothing I make my wife do and vice versa... I just married someone whose judgement I trust.

P.S. Every male baby should be taught to write his name in the snow before learning to piss in a bowl.

12 years ago I asked my husband for a simple birthday present. I asked him to sit to pee as I was expecting our twins and bending over to clean the bathroom was quite hard. He agreed. He has been doing it ever since. He finds it to be enjoyable as it pleases me and he finds sitting there gives him a brief amount of down time.

I would've thought cleaning the bathroom would make a better gift.

What the heck??

Peeing standing up is a rite of passage for little boys and yes, it SHOULD be easy to hit the 2-foot wide bowl, but try it in the morning or if you have to go for a while (guys---you get my drift). Not to be too graphic, but these things have a mind of their own.


My previous and current boyfriend both like to pee sitting down. They're both concerned about spray, so it's simply tidier that way. I thought it was a little strange the first time I dated someone who did it, but really... who cares either way? As long as the end result is a clean toliet, let people relieve themselves how they see fit. If spray was an issue I'd probably pointedly draw attention to the toliet paper!

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