I know that two days before Mother's Day is arguably an even worse time to bring this up than when I thought about it--in the middle of church, staring at the kids a couple of rows ahead of us--but it can't wait. All I can do is throw it out there, and trust that this information will be used responsibly, with tact, kindness, love, and patience, and understanding towards the amazing women who have done such extraordinary things for us and our children, and who--
Look, a toddler needs product about as much as a baby needs a giant flower headband: BY WHICH I MEAN, OBVIOUSLY, NOT AT ALL.
[image: one of 9,761 search results on eBay for newborn headband, Dear Lord, help our country in this desperate hour.]
The kind of get-up I find tolerable for the sub-three-foot crowd is a jawa costume. That's about it. At church, best of all.