DT reader Seth is onto something here:
Even referring to them as bumpers is misleading as the name implies (as with cars) some added element of safety or protection.So if you wanted to accurately reflect the safety risks they pose to newborns who might get their faces stuck up against them, and suffocate and die, what should crib bumpers be called?
The first thing that comes to my mind is Pillow Pets, because only because it's marketing-driiven crap that I hate. DT reader DT's suggestion, crib smotherers, is heading in the right direction.
Work up a nice list, and I'll gladly forward it to the ASTM committee and the JPMA for their molasses-assed consideration.