Now I missed the Balloon Boy family's appearance on Larry King to explain how the whole thing--was just because the parents are freaking insane narcissists. Fortunately, a commenter on The Awl basically liveblogged the hilari-sad tale of how Falcon couldn't escape his family.
mathnet:And when he got back to the green room, a sandwich and some M&Ms were waiting for him.
Well, my wife and I argue a lot. And when we argue, we yell, and we completely forget about anyone else but ourselves. Our kids are accustomed to it and Falcon usually isolates himself as much as possible in order to shut his eyes and try to keep wanting to live.
WTF is right. Before I go any further, I'm going to lie here and say that I don't like being judgmental.
That said, What the hell is it with people and their dreams of being 'reality TV "stars"'? Don't they realize that people with their shit together DON'T make good stars?!? That it's only those in F'd up situations, or just plain messed up PEOPLE who make for good watching?
This family was apparently on "Wife Swap" twice...
The dad sounds like a flake. More than half of me suspects this was some twisted publicity stunt.
Yeah, I am leaning toward thinking this was staged so the family could get back into the limelight...
I'm duplicating this comment from the previous balloon post, because it's actually more relevant here:
The six-year-old told Wolf Blitzer "we did this for the show". Daddy Dearest is allegedly on the morning shows doing damage control. Nice, anyway you parse it.
I'm leaning against the hoax theory for now, only because no parent could realistically believe that a 6-year-old would keep a secret.
Here's mathnet's authoritative-to-me recap of the Dad's explanation:
mathnet:
I am apalled. I am really apalled. That you would make a suggestion like that. They said this was it and we’d be done for a week. That’s why we agreed. Falcon tends to talk about things he did when he was four and then again in greatest-hits form when he was five, that’s all. When I swapped my wife for a psychic anglophile who hypnotized and past-life-regressed me after I threw food and milk at her, Falcon spent a great deal of time in the attic above the garage.
Ah, but you're assuming a realistic, logical POV.
Those desperate to be stars are generally not terribly logical, nor realistic about these things.
Besides, in the world of reality tv no publicity is bad publicity. He could always go on Springer if nobody else wants him.
I just lost my remaining smidgen of sympathy for the dad after watching him continue his Today Show interview unfazed while his kid is sitting next to him puking live on the air.
Amazing.
So why are we putting our noses in this family's business, anyway? Loonies or not, liars or not, it's a local issue.
it's true, one of the first places the family called when their son went missing was the *local* TV station, and it was the *local* satellite hookups that put them on Larry King, Wolf Blitzer, the Today Show...it's not a question putting "our" noses in their business so much as them sticking their faces in front of whatever camera they can find.