Seriously, screw the Five Second Rule. We have the Our Floor/Not Our Floor Rule.
But now that's not enough. So I ask you:
How many times do you return a piece of food to the kid's tray after it gets thrown onto the floor? Obviously, the answer is greater than one. But is it 3? 5? Infinity? Until it's too mushy and sticky to eat? Does it matter if it's dry like a rice cake or wet like, uh a partially gnawed on rice cake? Or does it just matter whether there's fuzz on it or not?