I have no idea what a Woodward Dream Cruise is; I avoid cruises on principle.
But I do know that no amount of smutty mayoral text-message publishing can make up for the station wagon-bashing nonsense of the Detroit News's Susan Whitall, who shows she knows shitall about what makes a cool car cool when she put "Dad's Old Station Wagon" at the top of her list of cars that should never cruise Woodward Avenue:
1. Dad's old station wagon. The Station Wagon Owners of America, great guys, will be mad at me for this, but keep the Ford Country Squires, Buick Roadmasters, Chrysler Town and Country wagons, Subaru Foresters and other lame kid-and-mulch haulers off Woodward. Even the red-and-white '57 Plymouth Belvedere station wagon I was carted around in as a child -- highly collectible yes; cool, no.The Subaru Forester? Is your dad is a lesbian conservation fundraiser? Just unload the mulch and hit the road, lady. Don't you have an AARP magazine to read or something?