If Blognigger isn't actually one of Thomas Jefferson's long-unacknowledged descendants, he's still the black Patrick Henry of Park Slope. Like his blog handle, Blognigger's Declaration of Co-Dependence is not for the meek. [Unlefs maybe all those f-words are actually s-words written with thofe old timey long s's that look like f's.] Which doesn't make it any less hilarious or self-evidently true. Though if it were so self-evident, I guess city parents would be a little more mindful of how annoying they and their kids are to their kid-free neighbors, and the childless d-bags would cut families a little slack because, after all, they did decide to live in a kid-centric neighborhood.
Article I: Sidewalk BehaviorDads are also on the hook in the grocery store. See Article V Supermarket Behavior for details. And God Bless America.
I.a.1 - Parents with strollers shall not occupy more than 66% of the width of a given sidewalk's walking area, except for periods of less than ten seconds when passing jutting storefront artifacts such as elongated entranceways, outdoor eating areas, or subway stations.
I.a.2 - As mothers, especially new mothers, are often hormonal masses of cluelessness, fathers will be responsible for a family's compliance with article I.a.1. Childless Individuals are urged to take special note of these characteristics of a mother's mindstate, and to factor this understanding into their reactions to violations of Article 1.a.1; a mother's failure to make room for you on the sidewalk does not derive from her arrogance, though it may easily be mistaken for such; said failure is merely motivated by obliviousness due to lack of sleep, individual freedom, and the chemical demand of continual and exclusive focus on her children.
The Declaration of Co-Dependence [blognigger.com via like five people]