You know, if the German children's author Rotraut Susanne Berner had actually faced criticism or censorship for depicting a tiny sculpture with a tinier penis in one of her books, I'd be on the front lines defending her and shouting down the insufferable American mullahs trying to dictate their retrograde morality to the rest of us and our kids.
But that's not what happened. Instead, last summer, Berner was asked by a small, independent, and independent-minded publisher who was considering publishing her book in the US if she'd consider redrawing a page so that the tiny statue had no penis, and the tiny painting had no pubes. And she promptly turned around and proclaimed her stalwart bravery in the face of American persecution to Der Spiegel, which was eager to make up some new news now that that stupid polar bear wasn't cute anymore.
And now, six months later, Boyd Mills Press announces they're taking the book, and what is the headline? "US publisher relents on German children's book."
Tell you what, Ms. Berner, you can keep your sanctimonious publicity stunts and your tiny, German penis in the background. Here in America, the penises in our children's books aren't in the wallpaper; they're on the main character. And they're not just on one page; they're everywhere. [OK, fine, probably not in Texas public schools]. And they're huge. In fact, we're so not afraid of Dicks, we have the biggest one running the country. And he's a pretty wild shot.
" US publisher relents on German children's book" [earthtimes.org via consumerist]
Previously: Eine Kleine Buchpenis
Related: The Animated Nutshell Library by Maurice Sendak, now on YouTube