Alright, Californian parents, stop talking about the size of your baby's penis and start explaining why the hell you are bringing babies and toddlers to freakin' slashfests. Here's SF Chronicle film reviewer Peter Hartlaub's second post about this mindboggling trend [his first was from February]:
While I thought the new "Halloween" was a pretty decent horror film, nothing in the movie was as scary as the collection of parents who brought small children to last night's critics screening at the Jack London Cinema in Oakland.When I snuck unto the theater to see Halloween, it freaked me the hell out for weeks. And I was like 10. Even when a friend and I went to see The Simpsons [at a 1030pm Saturday screening], there were dozens of kids as young as our own, ages 3-5, which blew our minds.
The last time I wrote about this subject, I felt guilty about the fact that I didn't say anything to the father who brought his small boy to the remake of "The Hitcher." With "Halloween," my only option to save every kid in the audience was to pull the fire alarm. There were at least 10 small children in the crowd, including what I would guess to be an 18-month-old girl in front of me and two boys maybe 3 and 4 years old sitting a row behind.
So tell me, parents who take their kids to these movies, how can you tell when your child is ready to see the stationwagonful of massacred children in The Hitcher? Can you explain it to me? Because I really want to know.
Here are the movies where kids have been spotted by Hartlaub and the commenters on The Poop. [lol, I feel credible, how 'bout you, babycita? "I agree with Patches..."]:
Halloween [2007 version by Rob Zombie]
Eyes Wide Shut
Bride of Chucky
Passion of the Christ [??!! It's practically a snuff film]
The Simpsons Movie
Letters from Iwo Jima
Texas Chainsaw Massacre [remake]
The Devil's Rejects
The Omen [2006 remake]
Team America World Police
The Exorcist and Black Christmas ["but I turned out OK"]
Lord of the Rings
Children of Men
Silence of the Lambs
The Horror! More little kids at slasher films [thepoop]
Feb07:No Babysitter? No Problem! Small Kids at R-Rated Movies [thepoop]