September 7, 2007

Wait, Say Again? Moms Sit Around Comparing The Size Of Their Kids' Penises??

Is this just Californiatalk or did Josh from Cookie's Daddy Underground blog stumble upon something mothers have known about for years--but don't mention in front of their baby daddies? Or when you have a boy, everyone just talks about his penis all the time, and as the dad of a girl, I'm just out of the loop? Because as far as I can tell, dads don't sit around comparing their daughters' genitalia.

"Look how big it is!" said one mother, a friend of a friend, as I did my best not to bolt the room. An unsolicited observation I've heard too many times before.
Seems I'm not alone. A few weeks back, a reasonable-minded mom complained to me at a party that several moms in her moms' group were, um, big on this kind of braggadocio. One had gone so far as to send out birth announcements, replete with photograph and text, to highlight this point.
It's time to turn to the experts, the momnonymous posters at Urbanbaby. And the answer, apparently, is yes, but not as much as they sit around comparing the size of their husbands' penises.

An unscientific DT analysis of the UB message boards reveals that discussion of an infant's penis size:

Toddler - Sep 6th, 2007 5:40pm: so i have noticed recently that 15mo ds's penis looks small compared to other babies I've seen from diaper changes at playgroup, etc. Should I be concerned?
* no
* why are you looking at baby penis's
* OTHER babies penises got me
o op: i said "other babies
+ Right, why are you look at their penises?
# shut up
# op: it's incidental. like when a friend changes her baby's diaper right next to me at playgroup
* it's really no big deal.

# shouldn't have circumcized him.
* my dh is circumcized and he's huge
o same here
o huge Jerry, huge!
+ lmao

# no

# Are the other kids laughing at him?
* ^^^ teasing him?

# my son is pretty hung, and that bothers me a little!

are outnumbered 5:1 by dicussion of DH penis size:
Toddler - Sep 5th, 2007: My DH has a big penis and after 15 yrs of intercourse, it still hurts when we have intercourse unless he uses A LOT of lube.
* me too. DH is huge.
* oh we must share a dh. please make him take out the trash
Size Matters [cookiemag]

7 Comments

I have a baby boy, and there is a platoon of baby and toddler boys in my social group.

I have never discussed penis size with the other mothers, or the fathers. It's never occurred to me.

But then, I don't discuss my husband's penis size with the other mothers either, so maybe I'm just repressed.

Glad that I have a daughter :)

We have a boy, and when we found out #2 was going to be a girl, the first thing I heard was:

Pushy Playdate Mom: "Well, you know what the differece between having a girl and having a boy is?"

Me: "Oh, enlighten me, please."

PPM: "Well, with a boy, you only have to worry about one penis. With a girl, you have to worry about 1,000 penises."

As a guy, I could only laugh.

[and suddenly, I couldn't. -ed.]

Only 1000? I'm worried about more than that.

Why do you assume that with a boy child you would only have to worry about one penis?

Similarly, I wonder if the ultrasound techs, upon seeing that it is a boy, have to say "oooohhhhh, yeah....no mistaking THAT one.... he's a boy.

That's what our tech said to us and I did get the message that our lemon-sized son was sporting a monster penis.

But our pregnant neighbor came home a few months ago and she relayed to me (unsolicited, I should add) that the ultrasound tech had been shocked at the apparent hugeness of her lemon-sized son's schlong.

So maybe it all starts with the ultrasound tech.

My sons only 10yrs old and his penis bigger than mine and Iam 41yrs old

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