August 13, 2007

Crocs Must Stop, Holey Crap, Too

Except for one outburst this time last year, I've expressed my sheer hatred of Crocs by ignoring them at every opportunity.

I was sure they'd come and go as quickly as Uggs, but my problem now isn't that they're still around: it's that the kid now knows what they are and makes reference to them on a semi-regular basis.

disney_croc.jpgSome of her friends have Crocs, and so they talk about them. If being fugly and annoying and fugly some more weren't reason enough to destroy them all--and believe me, it is--Crocs' are now implicated in the kid's first significant encounter with peer-over-parent brand influence. I'm not gonna take that lying down.

So I hereby call for the immediate confiscation and shredding of every Croc in North America. If some foreign Crochead tries wearing some into the country, I call on the TSA to finally make themselves useful by confiscating them and sending them to Phoenix or wherever all the knitting needles and my $20 tube of Kiehl's shaving cream went.

But let's look on the bright side. Last night after dinner, when the kid said, "She has Crocs with sparkles on," on the playground, I hatched a no-lose plan: we'll repave the playgrounds of America with safe, cushy, shredded Crocs. Out with the woodchips, in with the CrocChips. If they want a cleaner, smoother surface, they can have Croc Mat. Of course, this means you'll have to take off all the Jibbitz doodads that have been stuck on there. Don't want anyone stepping on those.

The TSA can't do this alone. We need volunteers to set up a giant Crocs Box collection point at every park, playground, and mall entrance in the country. For the first week, just politely invite people to throw their shoes in on their own. But after Labor Day, it'll be time to start "helping" them off.

Croc On [rob walker in nytmag]

30 Comments

Ah yes, crocs. The only shoes with a choice of choking hazards. It just kills me when I see toddlers wearing these ugly shoes with the jibbitz.

Greg - come on, have you ever worn Crocs? I was a CROC-HATER too until the wife gave me a pair for dad's day..Darned if they aren't way too comfortable. We even own CrocStock now so please don't rain on my parade. :) You're going to be seeing these for a long, long time.

At least they're not as fugly as Uggs.

[no. -ed.]

You know, just because something is comfortable doesn't mean it should be worn in public. For example, I don't walk down to the coffeeshop in just my boxer shorts.

I second the motion with the stipulation that we add Heeley's and their like to the ban.

I totally agree!!!
I DETEST those things. I've tried them on once and even the comfort wasn't enough to help me over the fugliness. I'll stick to my Old Navy flops thank you so kindly!
And I will also second the heeley ban as well, those things should not only be banned, they should be illegal and wearing them should be a punishable offense. Life in prison sounds good to me!

[ah, now I get it. those shoes with rollerskates in the heel. They remind me of an episode of CHiPs. -ed.]

Though I wear mine every day, I cannot comprehend a reason to wear them if you are not:
a)pregnant
b)gardening
c)wearing them with diabetic hose to the Red Hat meeting

Luckily, I have 2 out of 3. Oh, and the kid wears them because they are the only shoe that keeps his feet from overpronating (arthritis in his ankles) that he can put on himself.

[alright. we'll put a special jibbitz on yours so you can keep them. the rest, into the shredder! -ed.]

I don't have a pair, but I don't think they look bad at all, especially the latest with the strap on the heel.

Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I wear flip-flops 350 days a year.

The kid and my wife each have a pair... they tried to get me to join in some kind of horrible croc triumvirate cult but I refused.

i sometimes go down to the coffee shop in my boxer shorts. but i would never do that in crocs.
plus gwb wears them. eww.

[have you seen the kids these days wearing their pajamas and flip flop sandals to school? Back when I was a boy, you got sent home if your boxers stuck out of your shorts. Seriously. -ed.]

Sorry. Can't help ya out here. I actually kind of like 'em. Mind you, I don't have a pair myself, but here in the Netherlands, they're getting very popular. They're perfect for a country with "klompen" (wooden shoes) in their collective memory and not too distant past.

[gotta love'em, but once again, the Dutch have a lot of explaining to do. -ed.]

Yes, they're ugly. Yes, they're a bit of an evil trend. However, so comfy, so simple and so good for you. I didn't want to love them but I do.

I'm not a big fan of crocs but my wife bought our little 2 1/3 year old some black ones and we put a skull and cross bones thigie on one and a guitar on the other. They look pretty awesome when he wears his red/black plaid small paul shorts and his misfits cry cry my darling t shirt. I never thought my two year old would be punker then me. It brings a tear to a old punker dads eye.

I like my crocs, but rarely wear them out of the house. My 2 year old son has the Skechers version (size 10), in a dark camo color, and he wears them everwhere. The best part about them is he can put them on himself.

Our 3 y.o. son's croc got caught in an escalator - unfortunately while he was wearing it. My husband was able to rescue him pretty quickly. My son had a few scratches and was terrified. I decided to do a bit of research. Just google "croc" and "escalator" and you will be appalled by the number of injuries, many very serious. I'm surprised there hasn't been a Croc's recall.

It's not just crocs getting caught in escalators. Flip flops and other soft-soled shoes are also problems.

I own crocs, and love them for gardening or going to the pool, but I wouldn't wear them to the coffee shop any more than I would wear my bathing suit to the coffee shop.

Why are crocs considered 'good for gardening?' They're full of holes, so your feet'll immediately be covered in dirt, no? And all the rocks stuck in the bottom of the shoe?

YOU KIDS IN CROCS GET OFF MY LAWN!

While we're hatching wild-eyed utopian schemes, let's return T-shirts to their status as underwear and bring back the fedora. All these bare-headed men parading down to the coffee house in their foundation garments -- I mean, really.

My kid likes crocs and you are telling her she sucks. Thanks guys.

I can answer the "good for gardening" thing!

See, my garden is bigger than yours. One of my garden chores is tromping out in the middle of a soaking wet corn field to change the sprinklers. In rubber boots, my feet get soaking wet from all the water dripping in the top, but in Crocs, it all squelches out the bottom. Then I just go back to the house, spray my feet off shoes and all and go inside.(but take my shoes off first. I"m a civilized Canadian)

[you garden snobs with all that land up there in Canadia, rubbing it in our face like this... -ed.]

I hate crocs, I hate flipflops.

But they somehow look (slightly) less ugly on 2 year olds, and they're easy enough for the kids to put on themselves- much easier than any tennis-shoe. The ease of use is enough for me to forsake my aesthetic ideals.

We haven't started dealing with the charms yet, thankfully.

We live in Florida...beaches, rainy season, car washing on weekends. I wear flip flops every day. My son wears an adorable pair of brown leather sandals most days, but at the beach, in the rain and helping daddy wash the car, we don't want the sandals to get wet and ruined. At 20 months, his feet aren't quite ready for the flip flops and rain boots aren't exactly beach wear, but he can wear his orange crocs (to coordinate with his bathing suit). Croc snobs back off. (unless they have the fur on 'em- what the heck is that about?!)

Not all of Canada is cornfields -- I'm stuck buying what people like throkky grow at the weekly farmers' market downtown... we do have wicked pots of basil and thyme growing on the balcony though.

As a teacher, I also have been hearing a lot about accidents on the playground involving Crocs. While Crocs are nominally "closed-toe" shoes, their back straps don't provide enough support for serious running. Heads up -- lots of schools are talking about banning them.

I guess I'm in the minority who think Crocs and flip-flops are equally ugly.

I've actually got to come down in defense of the hated croc, at least to a degree. Much like flip-flops before them, they're good for what they're good for. Should they be worn out to dinner or to a club opening? No, and while surely some people can't grasp that, it doesn't mean that crocs don't serve any purpose. They're great for the beach, they're great for scuffing around after the dogs, they were a Godsend when I was 8mos pregnant and everything else made my swollen feet ache and blister. As for kids, yep, our girl has a pair, courtesy of her grandfather. As was pointed out above, she can put them on and take them off herself, which is a plus. They're not meant for running. They're not meant for climbing on jungle gyms. If you're not careful, they can get caught in escalators, but then so can a sneaker with a dangling lace...

"we do have wicked pot growing on the balcony though."

Fixed that for you Cam

It's true. While I may play a sophisticated stroller junkie on the internet, you have all found out the awful truth. I am a sunburnt, croc wearin' knocked up, corn sellin' farm wife. I am amazed I still have all my teeth.

keep your shredders away from my Mary Jane Crocs, bubba! On a hot Summer day in the city, I pity the fool who walks around wearing anything other than Crocs. And really, are there any attractive comfort shoes out there? Wait, I should rephrase that: are there any attractive AND AFFORDABLE comfort shoes out there? Because from where I stand, Danskos, Birks, Tevas and most Keens are fugly too (I won't go there with the Uggs, I agree that those are heinous). Crocs are good for what they were made to do. And there's a few styles out now that are more mainstream-looking. Really Greg (and all you other Crocs-haters), you don't know what you're missing. And when you find out, you're gonna be miserable wearing your Crocs in the closet. ;-)

I just wore mine while on a week-long mission trip to an area in Baja Mexico where the streets are unpaved, littered with rocks and misc debris and where temps were easily in the upper 90's (and oppressively humid too). At the end of the day, I could wash my shoes and they looked good as new for the next day's activities. And my feet didn't hurt or stink. The only other shoe I've ever worn that was *this* ideal for Summer wearing are broken-in Spanish espadrilles (not the crappy Made-in-China ones) but those can't get wet, so really they're not as versatile. Although they do look dressier...

My hubby finally agreed to try the "Professionals" for work a few months ago because he's been suffering from severe foot and back pain for years. He loves them, says they're more comfortable than his sneakers or any other shoe he's ever owned.

So, you keep enjoying your $20 shaving cream and your Bugaboos in good health, and I get to keep my Crocs. Capisce?

omg! you're hysterical! that's a clever idea

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZ6qdxN883w
Just had to share.
I finally figured what signaled the imminent deat of the Croc trend. It's those stupid jibbitz. The name is remarkably close to slang for a certain street drug, and why would anyone want to block the air holes that were put there on purpose? How can your comfy shoes remain comfy with some sparkly heart with a hard back poking in to your foot?

At the risk of everyone hating me, a Crocs recall?
Wouldn't keeping your kids feet out of the escalator be more sensible? Kid puts their fingers in there, are you going to recall fingers? Shut down all escalaltors? My mother taught us as kids that they are dangerous and to be sensible on them. If we were too young we were being carried or closely scrutinised.
As far as I am aware no shoe is recommended to be put into an escalator, and there are usually warnings to keep clear of the dangerous parts. Yeah, sometimes kids don't do as they're told but teaching them to keep clear, and keeping a good watch on them does wonders for their safety.
Whether you like or hate Crocs, you can't blame them for a kids foot in an escalator. They're not marketed as escalator-proof. No shoes are.

Twice now my girl's foot has gotten caught coming down a slide on a playground. Nearly ripped her leg right off when her foot stopped on the slide but her body didn't. So that's the end of them on the playground but I can't ban them for good. They're too convenient.

wish I had read this before Saturday when my 2 year old son broke his leg because his foot stopped and his body didn't :(

Google DT


Contact DT

Daddy Types is published by Greg Allen with the help of readers like you.
Got tips, advice, questions, and suggestions? Send them to:
greg [at] daddytypes [dot] com

Join the [eventual] Daddy Types mailing list!


Archives

copyright

copyright 2014 daddy types, llc.
no unauthorized commercial reuse.
privacy and terms of use
published using movable type

advertisements