The last few weeks as we've been ironing out the details and the concept, I've had a single, anxious doubt running through my brain: "But what if no one really disastrously famous has a baby next spring? Who'd care about a celebrity parenting advice book then?"
And even as I dusted off my most hilarious Debra Messing breastfeeding jokes, [punchline: "Golden Globes!" Am I right?? I slay me sometimes.] I had to face facts: this means six months of my life spent obsessing over Tori Freakin' Spelling's gift baskets, and there's no way to get that back, no matter how illustrious the publisher or how gargantuan the advance.
But still, it was a challenge I felt compelled to take on, and not just because I needed an outlet for all the celebrity parent-related news that just didn't fit here on Daddy Types. But celebrities are our culture's most important parenting resource, so really, I had to do it for the parents. No no, let me try that again. I had to do it for the children. Yep, for the children.
And so this morning, just as I struggled on the first, actual chapter in one window, the headline popped up in another, like sunlight breaking through the clouds, like spotlights piercing the smoke-filled club, like police car strobes at a drug bust, like paparazzi flashbulbs outside yet another courthouse:
EXCLUSIVE: KATE IS HAVING A BABYAnd I knew it would be alright.
So basically, yeah, I'm doing a book about celebrity parents for Riverhead Books, a division of Penguin, and it should be out next Spring. It will be either hilarious, informative, or both, but we've elected not to find out until it's born. At the moment, I do know this: I'm sick every morning, I'm craving Diet Coke and Haagen-Daz Mayan Chocolate ice cream all the time, and my wife, not knowing what to do, is just helping out more around the house.
Dude, I was gonna say something about you looking like you're gonna write a book, but, you know, it'd be pretty embarassing if I were wrong, you know?
Awesome news, Greg. Congrats! I love the fact that another blogger got a book deal and that it's YOU. I predict it will be a smashing success and am looking forward to seeing you on Good Morning America.
[thank you, thank you very much. personally, I'm holding out for The View. -ed.]
Couldn't Kate have done the sensible thing and just had herself artificially inseminated by David Crosby?
Greg,
That's wonderful... So when you are at your wits end about what you are going to name your book, look no further than you online minions who for the shear bragging power would be happy to help name the swaddling bundle of wood and ink joy.
"The Unidentified Local Parents' Handbook"
"B is for Bugaboo"
Sounds like a cool project, congrats on the deal too. Are you going to send a free copy to all the celebs? I hear they love free stuff.
I'm sure you have a lot of interesting observations about parenting but am surprised by the topic of this book. It seems like there's a high risk of adding fuel to the fire of celebrity paparazzi, invasion of privacy, particularly that of children who didn't ask to be the focus of attention, etc.
[very good point, Jan, and one I don't take lightly. It's definitely something that we're trying to keep in mind. I like to think the book will wake us all up to our personal responsibility in the celebrity-obsessed culture we live in. It'd be the An Inconvenient Truth of global celebrity warming. Except that'd make me the celebrity Al Gore, which means we lose the Hannity blurb for the cover. Plus, I'd have to put on 40 lbs and go balder even faster. Uh, let me get back to you on this... -ed.]