To New York Magazine's credit, they seem to recognize at least some of the insanity behind their "It'll cost you $4 million to totally outsource your kid" article last week. [I mean come on, $1.8mm is for 14 hr/day on-call car service; I would think you could cut that in half by letting the car go during school, at least. And then depending on where you summer, you spend even less, even when you factor in charters, right?]
Nevertheless, I admit I was caught off guard by the availability--in Chicago, anyway--of a toilet training service. Adriana's Services' writeup on Craigslist mixes individualized sensitivity with officious-sounding rigidity in a way that's hard for me to grasp:
Is it time to toss the diapers at your house? You've been waiting for the signals. Your child seems to recognize when he/she is peeing or pooping. And, miraculously, your child is actually telling you from time to time! ("I peed!" or "I pooped!"). She is dry after naps and occasionally upon awakening in the morning.Tailored, yes, but there are apparently packages ranging from 2-5 days/wk, and 4-8 hrs/day. The $800 Quick & Ultimate Pack is available with optional nannying [$200] and housekeeping [$50], too. There is over-the-phone coaching available for $0.75-1.25/minute.
Find out if you're ready and get helpful information on potty training your toddler from Adriana’s Services – Potty Training Department. We work with children and have been for 6 years now and have potty trained children between the ages of 6 months and up to 12 years old (and older… depending on the situation); we also potty train infants up to 6 months old.
Our philosophy : We believe that each child is unique and that we need to work with each child for as long as it takes or needs. We do not encourage rewarding with food such as candy, cookies, etc…because it can send the wrong message to the child, we also do not encourage punishment of any kind.
Our prices: You will find most of this information on our website www.pottytrainingservices.com however every plan is custom - based on your child’s needs and so is our price, for your best estimate you can call us... and ask us for a FREE psychological test (done over the phone) and if we feel that you and your child are ready we can offer you a plan and start the next day ( we start on Thursdays – it depends on the client).
Potty Training PlansWe potty train in as little as one day, 3 days, a week or even 4 months because potty training your child is an event in your child’s life and not just another task that parents need to get done – we take our time and if we believe that it can be done in one day we will show you how!
I-- nope. You know what, I'm just passing this information along and let you know it's out there.