At a friend's birthday party recently, my daughter loved playing with a Disney Princess toy cellphone. She handed me the phone, and I said, "oo! Is it Princess Jasmine??" My daughter said, "no! Mommy!".

*sigh* Princess Jasmine never calls me.

Now that the chicks are wise to our scam, you're going to need to show the kid's face so they can see she's not crying or distressed, and the diaper so they can see it's been changed today. Otherwise you're out of the market for positive female attention.

Forget the phone, where'd you get that sweet little backpack?

[muji, it totally rocks. we pack a diaper and a bibster and an applesauce, and the kid's totally self-contained now. Muji backpack: $10. Getting kid to carry her own diaper bag: priceless. -ed.]

Look at that position! Fifth? Is she taking ballet?

She looks like a total cutie from here.

Didn't the Dead Milkmen have a song called Baby Parade?

We got a little backpack at Nishi-Matsuya (arguably the most incredible baby clothing store I've ever seen -- every style of clothing imaginable, plus toys and food, for unheard of low prices) with the same intention, but haven't used it much yet. We really should, although if the kid carries her own food, she'll probably open it before we leave the apartment...