Waitaminnit, I'm confused. New York Magazine has a surprisingly snark- and hipster-free cover story on twins and multiple births, actually written by new parents of twins. [In case you're wondering how in the world parents of multiples have the time to write 5,000 word-articles, they finished it while their weeks-early twins were in the NICU. It's the new grup gonzo journalism.]
Anyway, they cover the increased incidence of multiple births due to IVF and IUI; they talk to a top "multiples reduction" doctor, without delving into the punditry-tinged pro/anti debate; they talk to multiple multiples parents in the city, who appear to have a busy, stressful, tired time of it, with no pretense of resuming their pre-baby lives; and they weave in a bit of their own experience, even if that seems like the least developed sections.
Two things stand out to me, though: the least well-off parents--a Brooklyn couple with quads (though one died)--seemed the most well-adjusted mentally to the sudden change. [Maybe they didn't have quite as much "life/style" to be disrupted in the first place.]
And what about the dads? Though two main families in the story bonded because the dads were friends who had twins at the same time, the sense that I got from the rest of the story is that if the moms of multiples are twice as harried, the dads are twice as isolated ["Moms of Multiples now has 280 members and gets together for playgroups and massive mothers-only dinner parties (dads were originally invited but they didn’Äôt last)."]
I have to confess, even though I have multiple friends with twins, absorption in my own single-kid experience has pretty much blinded me to the unique situations that dads of multiples face. If any twin dads out there want to give your take on the piece and your firsthand accounts, it'd be much appreciated. Of course, that'd require finding time to read the 5,000-word article in the first place.
Gangs of New York [nymag]