Every baby under the age of one in Japan is as fat as a sumo wrestler. They ride around, inert, and sprawled in their tiny strollers like drunks on a frathouse sofa. I can't figure it out.
Here are three things I do know:
- Baby food in Japan has all kinds of stews, udon noodles, and fish, for kids as young as 6-9 months,
- But they don't start using chopsticks on their own until they're 2, at least according to the chopstick sizing chart in this Harajuku chopstick shop.
- Which means the kid is 3.5 years too young for the 16cm chopsticks I bought her at Muji.
Conclusion: Until they turn two, Japanese babies are force-fed rice and stew with giant spoons, stuffed like foie gras geese. Then there's some kind of preschool SAT, and the babies who fail are turned over to a witch and baked into fancy cakes. Hey, I mean, if they eat whale...