July 16, 2005

Track Nerds' Children With RFID Pajamas

A designer, "Lauren Scott of California," has announced a licensing deal with SmartWear Technologies, Inc. to embed the company's nerd-tastic RFID tags in childrens' pajamas. Target has supposedly already placed an order.

When used with a network of $500 (+/-) tag-reading proximity detectors (which would be placed "on driveways, gateways to pools, and in the home,"), the RFID tags will be able to immunize your child against the "epidemic of child abductions," many of which are perpetrated by "convicted sex offenders." [Gateways to pools? That sounds like a promise of drowning prevention without the balls--or the liability insurance--to come out and admit it.] And of course, this will only work if the kid is home in his pajamas all day, like some miniature Hugh Hefner.

Says attorney/real world inhabitant Michael Overly, "It's an interesting use of RFID tagging, but this application could end up like the global positioning system watches advertised six to eight months ago that were suppose to allow you to track your kid, and they just didn't catch on at all."

But even if the RFID sensors are impractically expensive, the clothes will have a stealth backup system. I'm not sure which "Lauren Scott the designer" is behind this crackpot scheme, but if it's this pattern designer or this random Adobe Illustrator newbie--on CafePress, no less--the pajamas will be so ugly, no one will want to kidnap your sorry-looking little ragamuffin anyway.

Apparel Maker Tags RFID For Kids' Sleepwear [infoweek, via wmmna]
Previously: GPS Tracking: not just for felons anymore [but not for kids anymore, either, psych!]

2 Comments

To heck with the kid. How long before I can RFID everything I own and just Google my damned keys?

Don't know if you noticed, but on the 'pattern designer' toyopia link there is a magazine cover that makes it look like the name of it is "Buttcrack" rather than "Butterick"... their art director should be shot!

I have to admit that when I first saw that upper-class mom, and thinking the magazine was "Buttcrack" I thought, "Now there is a niche market for a magazine."

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