May 27, 2004

Recreating That Pamela Anderson Feeling

First, get a Bjorn or some comparable (but inferior) babystrapping device.

Once your kid is old/strong enough (3 months, in our case), strap him or her on your chest, facing out. Don't forget socks.

Get your kid as cute as possible. Put a hat on her, maybe a slightly-too-large one that she can peek out from under. [note: entirely optional]

Go walking down the street. Remember to keep your shoulders back and your head up.

Watch with pride, then amazement, then increasing unease as every person you pass stares, not at you, but at your chest.

Find yourself not at all prepared when you hear odd, guttural sounds and a no-doubt well-meaning hand reaches out to palm your breasts child. Smile gamely and move away quickly.

Resolve to make eye contact, or better yet, not even look (yeah, right) in the future.

2 Comments

Indeed a wonderful experience... I always enjoy the happiness our daughter seems to spread to perfect strangers. They seem to take extra pleasure though when you receive a surprise kick to the groin... ;)

Bjorn needs to invent a cod-piece or cup for the dads out there.

I love seeing daddies and mommies with their babies in the baby papooses. But I've never tried to palm the kids, although I have wanted to squeeze their feet. Or point out that the baby is loosing a sock.

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