October 8, 2009

Poo-ology Evolves Beyond 'More Bananas Or More Pears?'


In Bertolucci's The Last Emperor, the eunuchs study Pu Yi's poo every day to determine his diet. In The Madness of King George III, analysis of the king's stool was a key plot point. Speaking of, did you know that from at least Henry VIII, one of the most privileged positions a young noble could have was to be Groom of the Stool, the constant attendant to the king, including in his Privy Chamber, and the guy who "presided over the office of royal excretion" [i.e., wiping the king's ass]? And suddenly, you realize Eddie Murphy wasn't completely stupid when he said, "It's my birthday, I'll wipe my own ass" in Coming to America.

It's the kind of stuff that accumulates there in your head while you're changing all these diapers, and it sure feels nice to get it out of my system. So thanks to the selfless folks at Babycenter, who have compiled a large gallery of poo and what it might indicate about the state of a baby's digestive system. Someone has to keep the ancient tradition alive, right?

Baby Poop: A Visual Guide [babycenter via boingboing]


Unfortunately, they left out the poo where, in the middle of the night and in the midst of a diaper change, your little one lets out a jet of poo that splatters itself, you, the changing table, the wall behind, and several square yards of floor.

Ahhh, the diaper years... Good times.

Ah so glad to have those days behind me. I was a very worried kind of mother and unfortunately visual guide to poop probably would have appealed to me. Thankfully though my diaper days are done and hopefully soon so will be butt wiping.

Yes, but do you know how to describe it?

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