July 30, 2009

Blame Australia! For All Their Pervy Hullabaloo, And Their 'Tits' On Onesies, Too

Hide your Baldwin Brothers, Australia! New Zealand is pissed.

Pissed about the smutty jokes being served up on baby t-shirts and rompers at Cotton On Kids, the bub-subsidiary of the hometown clothing chain that's equivalent to American Apparel or Urban Outfitters. Dumb-ass jokes like "I'm a tit man" and "The condom broke," &c., &c. If the only the movie hadn't been called American Pie, I'm sure they'd have "I'm with the MILF" Onesies, too.

Groups in Australia are calling for "penalties" such as "awareness campaigns" [But why, when they generate so much free awareness already?]. And a conservative Christian outfit in New Zealand called Family First NZ is calling for a boycott of the country's 14 Cotton On Kids stores until the company's rampant "sexualisation of children" is stopped.

Welcome to big whoop whoop, I say. Babies can't read; only dopes will buy them anyway, thereby telegraphing their idiocy to the world. Why not just ignore the damn things?

Precisely because of the hapless Kennys of this world, that's why. As a "prominent psychologist" explained to the Herald Sun:

"The sad thing is that smarter parents protect their kids, but as the media environment and the shopping malls deteriorate, the kids with not very bright parents have their mental health and sexual health degraded."
Because the malls teach kids what their parents don't have time to say.

What bugs me, frankly, is not getting word of Family First NZ's supposedly successful campaign last year against another, more Hot Topicky Australian retailer's trashy tees for tweens.

Apparently, some joint called JayJays came out with a Little Losers collection patterned after Roger Hargreaves' classic Little Men/Little Miss characters. There was Mr. Drunk, Miss Wasted, Miss Floozy, Mr. Agro, Mr Well-Hung... A year later, almost the only sign left of the shirts' brief existence is on the websites of the groups who protested them.


Cotton On's risque kids' T-shirt slogans under attack [news.com.au]
Call For Boycott Of Company Sexualising Babywear [voxy.co.nz via dt reader dt]
National retailer selling lewd t-shirts to kids [australianwomenonline.com]


Since you brought up Woop Woop, they missed a good one: "I parted the beef curtains."

please let a flamebaiting t-shirt designer in Australia be reading this right now...

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