June 19, 2009

DT Friday Freakout Jersey Girl Edition

Father's Day notwithstanding, here are some news reports from the worlds of science, government, and parenting to ruin your weekend:

  • In two separate incidents this week, Continental Airlines sent two unaccompanied minors to the wrong cities, and USA Today says "Parents want changes," which, under applicable fare rules, are probably at least $100. [usatoday]

  • Some knucklehead from some travel website actually suggests the solution is to "buy a ticket for yourself even though you're not flying. That way you can take your child right onto the plane, get him settled with snacks and games, buckle him up, kiss him goodbye and then head for the airline counter to get your refund." Or you could just get a gate pass and sit there at the door of the plane until it takes off, like you're supposed to. Frankly, I think opening their unaccompanied minor programs to 1-3yo's would make the airlines a freakin' fortune. [baltimore sun via dt reader dt]

  • Damn, it's as if TV producers have some kind of chip in their heads that automatically spits out imbecilic Mr. Mom! must...resist..can't Mr Mom! headlines every (*$#%ing Father's Day. Also, I think that's Chris the DJ from Northern Exposure doing the voiceover for the Applebee's commercial on the Today Show. So yeah, I realize it could be worse. [msnbc video via dt reader lee]

  • Speaking of imbecilic caricatures, corrupt-as-hell mop-head ex-governor of Illinois Rod Blagojevich apparently told Larry King he was "being Mr. Mom" while his wife was doing some NBC reality TV show. [suntimes]

  • Giant sperm up to 10x the length of their creators have been found in microfossils. sciencedaily]

  • The Pillsbury Dough Boy's evil plan is working, because Nestle has recalled all their refrigerated Toll House cookie dough. E. coli. 65 cases in 29 states. Says the CDC: "Consumers should be reminded they should not eat raw food products that are intended for cooking or baking before consumption." And the CDC should be reminded that for some people, a little bloody diarrhea and kidney failure is a small price to pay for the sweet, sweet pleasure of a roll of raw cookie dough. [cdc.gov via nyt]

  • "Pregnant women at high risk of complications from H1N1 influenza"! says the headline. The actual story, however, is that Tamiflu is fine. [eurekalert]

  • What with kids being germ bombs and schools and daycare centers being superhubs of transmission and all, University of Warwick epidemiologists say their model shows that vaccinating kids might be the most effective way to control pandemics like swine flu. But that in your bong and smoke it, Jim Carrey! [eurekalert]

  • Does this research finding from Georgetown that brains treat individual words as "objects" that each get their own neurons strengthen the argument for sight reading over phonics? If so, I'd expect the Flash Card Industrial Complex would be all over it. [eurekalert]

  • The mystery of breastfeeding complications is solved! Whew, it's simply exposure to dioxin during pregnancy! Well, that might be related. In some cases. Of breastfeeding mice. [eurekalert again]

  • A University of Alberta study shows that while not as effective a pain reliever as not chopping off the end of their penises in the first place, music may help soothe preemies during and after circumcision. Also, it helps them suckle better. Wait, are these somehow related? [sciencedaily]

  • Damn you, Kevin Smith! I'm sure George Carlin's generous soul was awesome for you, but I treasured my unalloyed disdain for Jersey Girl in my heart--and you just ripped it out and stomped on it. [decider.com]

Yeah, I know, that last one's more a buzzkill than a freakout. Sorry.

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