February 7, 2007

Dad Uses Stun Gun To Repel 3-Week-Long Assault By 18-mo Son

A 23-year-old dad in Albany, Oregon [it's not as far inland as I would've thought] was apparently being terrorized for weeks by his 18-month-old son. Weak and powerless and cowed with fear, left with no one to turn to, and with the toddler threatening his peace of mind, if not his very existence, Rian Wittman turned to his only friend for help The Dragon-Fire 100,000 Volt Stun Gun.

And now, after three weeks of stun-gunning, the terror is over, and state officials took the kid into custody. And Wittman? He's now safe, too, in the county jail, where the angry mob of baby sympathizers who want to stun gun his nuts can't reach him.

Here's a description from a stun gun dealer on eBay, where the cigarette pack-sized weapon sells for $10:

The Dragon-Fire 100,000 Volt Stun Gun is the best non-lethal protection available. SAFE TO USE! The safety switch must be engaged or the trigger will not work. While You are using the Stun Gun it will not shock the user even if attacker grabs or is holding you! Only use in case of an emergency as a defensive weapon.
Take along for Peace of Mind while:
# Taking evening & morning walks
# Jogging
# In parking lots
# Dimly lit areas
# At Home against break ins

Stun Gun Effects on Attacker:
# 0.5 second duration will startle assailants giving some pain, musclar contraction and shock.
# 1- 2 second duration will cause muscle spasms and dazed mental state.
# 2-5 second duration will cause loss of balance and muscle control. Total mental confusion and disorientation leaving assailant dazed while You make Your way to safety!!
The Dragon-Fire Stun Gun can not be damaged by continued firing on the assailant's body and can not cause permanent damage to the assailant.

See? Assailant. What other explanation could there be?

Man arraigned in stun gun attack on son [albany democrat herald via dt reader ken]


What an asshole.

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