October 27, 2006

Daddy Wars: The Central Front In The War On/Of Daddies

Flush with our culture's stunning victory in The Mommy Wars [I guess we showed those capitalist moms who's boss, eh, Caitlin?], pundits may be looking to open a new front in the global war on parenting.

So in his weekly guestspot on the Washington Post's On Balance parenting blog, Rebel Dad called for a pre-emptive strike: let's come up with a definition of The Daddy Wars before some knuckleheaded pundit or a hack with a book deal [uhh...] defines it in some meaninglessly sensationalistic way.

Plus, he grabbed daddywars.com last year, and with no compelling definition in place, he may be wavering a bit on the $9 re-up fee.

Defining The Daddy Wars
[onbalance, thnx dt reader buck]


I think there is definitely a sentiment out there that SAHD's have it easy, but it seems that the SAHD's I know simply don't give a damn what others think of their decision.

Most of the SAH dads I've met are super laid-back. And most dads who actually like to spend time with their kids don't find it necessary to bitch about their peers. Although my husband isn't the "primary caregiver" in our house, he works from home and spends as much time with the kid as a SAHD since he can set his own schedule. We have a good friend who is a SAHD and they like to do daddy-daughter days. My husband will occasionally comment on our friend's parenting style but he usually leaves it to me to make the catty, judgmental remarks. (Like "no, I don't think it's okay to leave the carseat unbuckled even if you're only going a couple of blocks" and "I can't believe he didn't bring a jacket for the baby on our trip to the pumpkin patch .") He prefers to make observations without passing judgment. I think it's another basic gender gap.

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