September 21, 2006

With This Superman Laptop, You Will Never Be Alone, Kal-El


Your name is Kal-El. You have great powers, only some of which you have as yet discovered.

You need some educational aids. All the math, memory, logic and spelling games of your home planet Krypton, all 30 of them, in Spanish and English, have been stored on this Superman Laptop Advance from OSI.

When you are ready, wave your hand over it, and it will play a theme song, your theme song, my son. No, it works, my son; you're just waving your hand over the wrong one. It's the one on the bottom.


Perhaps you are not yet ready for it. After all, it is designed for use only after you have seen five rotations around this planet's weak, yellow sun. Until then, Kal-El, try the Superman Jr. Laptop, which, although it does not have a QWERTY keyboard like the Advance, does have 8 activities with letters, numbers, music, math, shapes and colors, which were so popular with the children on Krypton.

Live as one of them, Kal-El, to discover where your strength and your power are needed. In licensing, and in distracting Earth children from their parents' laptops long enough to teach them that keyboards and applesauce don't mix.

You will make my strength your own, and see my life through your own eyes, as your life will be seen through mine. The son becomes the father, and the father the son. This is all I can send you, Kal-El. So break out the wallet of solitude, and cough up $60 and $40 of their Earth dollars [sic], respectively. Batteries included.

Superman Laptops from Oregon Scientific Instruments [via an informative preview from OSI's people]
Superman: The Movie Memorable Quotes [imdb]

1 Comment

What's funny is that Nicholas Cage really does speak like this to his kid.

[yeah, i was torn between the brando and the cage pix for this. ultimately, the generational pull was too strong. and of course, as a parent, I don't see movies anymore, so I have no idea about the new guy whose face actually graces this thing. -ed.]

Google DT

Contact DT

Daddy Types is published by Greg Allen with the help of readers like you.
Got tips, advice, questions, and suggestions? Send them to:
greg [at] daddytypes [dot] com

Join the [eventual] Daddy Types mailing list!



copyright 2018 daddy types, llc.
no unauthorized commercial reuse.
privacy and terms of use
published using movable type