September 6, 2006

A Dad-To-Be's Tribute To His Dad

My step-father passed away a couple of months before the kid was born [stage 2 pancreatic cancer]. And even with a strongly held faith that our family will rally after this life, sometimes it's hard to be reminded that she'll grow up not knowing him and that her world will be inexorably different from mine because some of the formative influences in my life are not here for her to get to know.

One of those times was Monday night, when I popped over to Josh Marshall's politics blog, Talking Points Memo, only to find that his recent string of guestbloggers was not due to a summer vacation, but to the sudden death of his father. Josh's tribute to his dad, both as a son, but also as an adult and friend, really moved me; and it's definitely something to aspire to as a parent. Then there's this

One of the great heartbreaks of my life is that my dad did not live to see his first grandson who – God willing – will be born in November. But even in the midst of the grief that crashed over me I had the satisfaction of knowing that my father had lived long enough to see me make something of myself. And I knew he was proud of me. What I worried and grieved about after he died was whether I had made it clear enough while he was alive how proud I was of him, how much I loved him and how he’d been my anchor through my life.
Talking Points Memo


I find one thing still bothers me a little, and I've slowly been working on a post about it on ihatesnaps, is that my father passed away a little over a month after my daughter was born.

He was diabetic and had all sorts of problems. We didn't want my parents to drive, and flying was also difficult for him, so we told them that once the baby was a little older, we would come visit.

Unfortunately, we wound up visiting when she was a little over one month for all the worst reasons.

I do wish she could spend the beginning of her life knowing him. However, I also wish he spent the end of his knowing her.

Few things make me sadder than the fact that my Dad never got to see my sweet boys. He would have gotten such a kick out of them and they would have loved him so.

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