July 18, 2006

Safety: Watch Out For Lacerating Tiffany Rattles


Did you get this Paloma sterling silver rattle from Tiffany's this past March? Because the Government strongly recommends you take it away from the baby immediately.

Just-published research shows that exposing newborns to overly luxurious products and toys can lead to a desensitization about matters of social inequity and early-onset over-entitlement. A new tracking study showed that children who received sterling silver Tiffany rattles before 6 months were 45% more likely to be kicked out of a succession of private schools and end up dipping into capital while trying to launch their DJ career in Williamsburg, than children who got rattles later, when they could appreciate it.


Actually, seams on the rattle can open during use, and if the kid doesn't inhale the little beads inside, he might slice his little mowf on the ragged metal edge. The Williamsburg DJ mystery remains unsolved. Around 47 of you either bought or got one of these in March--and at $195, I hope it was 'got.' I also hope you'll introduce me to your friends.

Tiffany and Company Recalls Paloma Rattles for Aspiration, Laceration Hazards [cpsc.gov via consumerist]
Educate your infant in the finer things in life with Tiffany rattles, spoons, and porcelain. [tiffany.com]

other_tiffany_deathrattle.jpgUPDATE: Weh-hell. Good thing I had that picture of the aspiration- and laceration-hazardous Tiffany rattle that just got recalled. It'll help people distinguish it from the other Tiffany rattle recalled last year for aspiration and laceration hazards. That one, the Farm Teether Rattle, sold around 3,700 units between 2002 and 2004, and just paid a $262,000 penalty to the CSPC last month for failing to report in a timely manner that the center bar could break, releasing little beads and silver animals. $262k is just less than half the $555,000 retail value of those rattles. Good to see there's still a decent margin in the Rattle of Death market.


My favorite is the sterling silver bubble wand. A veritable steal at a mere $95, I think.

We let our baby play with his dad's old silver baby rattle once, and discovered it's not a good idea to give a small, heavy object to someone who will fling it across the room (duck!).

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