July 10, 2006

Utah Anthro Prof Has Tenure, Develops Baby-Parade Theory

By analyzing the way chicks dig a guy with a baby, and comparing it to the parenting technique of the sloth in Ice Age, then performing a regression analysis on the title of a ten-year-old book on how Japanese men working 14 hours and commuting 4 hours each day never spend time at home, David Lancy, a Utah State University anthropology professor, has uncovered and named a fascinating new phenomenon: Baby-Parading.

It means that dads show off their virility and genetic superiority by showing off their kids, but then they go back to ignoring them when no one's looking.

If you have any doubt about this incontrovertible scientific theory, please note that Lancy was named 2001 Utah Professor of the Year. Also, a Salt Lake Tribune reporter confirmed it by talking to a man in a park.

Some dads parade their kids to appear better, by Arrin Newton Brunson [sltrib via dt reader greg]


"Women in the market for a mate should scrutinize candidates interacting with an uncomfortable child - an infant that cries, needs food or has a full diaper, Lancy said."

LOL. No joke required.

[it's true, the culture where men only parent for applause from strangers is the same one where women choose their own mates. -ed.]

Well, if Ice Age supports this theory, I buy it. It flies in the face of everyday experience, but then again, where's my tenure?

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