July 7, 2005

On Raising Your Daughters In NYC

An admittedly incomplete list of skills New York City girls need to learn and by what age:

  • hail a cab: 3
  • swipe a metrocard: 10
  • duck under the subway turnstile: 2
  • duck when there are five people in a taxi: 5
  • laugh derisively in the faces of the emotionally stunted, pathetic loser 25-year-old I-bankers who try to date them: 13
  • laugh derisively in the faces of the skeevy perv 35-50-year-old I-bankers and Euros who try to party with them: 13

    "Man-Hunting With the High-School Dream Girls"
    [nymag.com, via JJ]


    What do you mean by "EUROS" exactly?

    It's short for Eurotrash in this case, used to describe those skeevy old pervs hitting on high school girls who happen NOT to be I-bankers.

    "Euros"? Come on, you know exactly what we Yanks mean when we "Euros" in *that tone*...;)

    Seriously, though, I graduated from Stuyvesant in 1986. Things weren't so much diferent back then. When my family first moved back to The City (where I was born), the drinking age was still 19 as I recall, which essentially meant that if you could reach the top of the bar with money, you could buy a drink. As a single young man, I found that the easiest way to get in to a club underage was to pretend to be homosexual. It seems the bouncers didn't like having so many young straight guys in the place being pains in the ass to the girls. Ah, the magic of a big shiny brooch clipped to the ear. Fake ID? We don't need to stinkin' fake ID...

    That said, the tone of this article makes it sound as if something horribly wrong is going on. Let's not forget that these girls are 18. Yes, drinking at 18 in currently illegal in NY, but immoral? That's a trickier question.

    Now that I have a daughter of my own, I've been thinking that I have about 13-14 years to move back to The City so a second generation of Ampers can attend the esteemed Stuyvesant High School. I hope that by that time, my daughter will be a bit smarter than the girls in this article. Maybe what they're doing isn't all that bad, but it sure is stoopid!

    Yeah, I was hanging out at Danceteria, etc. at 14, and we went to Area after the prom at 17. And yeah, maybe it *is* different for girls, but where are their parents while these girls are out and about? Oh well, at least it's NYC, so it's not as if these girls are being exposed to the evils of cigarette smoke...

    I always had a harder time with the american sailers when there'd be a ship in port, I find the euro's pretty benign actually.

    When growing up in Sweden, we would summer in Gotland and it would be chock full of eurotrash (term of endearment in my case) the only trouble would be from the Polish (then communist) on vaca., with bolshevik issue swim trunks and two mason jars, one in each hand, one for pickles and one for homemade vodka. You'd always get one or two of them following you around.

    Yeah, this has definitely been the case as long as I've ever been out and about in NYC; all many of my friends started going to Palladium when they were 13, etc., and it's always been easy to joke about the modelizers, the older men with the cards and the slicked back hair.

    And given that our neighborhood on the UES was once called by a Euro, "The Bermuda Triangle, between Frederick's, La Goulue, and Bilboquet," [we just called it the French Consulate]
    I think I know the specific Euros of whom I speak.

    For all I know, NY Mag just did a find and replace with the club names; this article could've been written any time in the last 20 years, at least. The only difference to me is, now it paralyzes me because I'm as old as the guys in it, and I now have a daughter myself.

    Is NYC really that much different than the rest of the universe that this isn't a big deal? I mean, I spent years working with jr high and high school girls, many of whom tried to convince themselves that hitting puberty early entitled them to a free pass to adulthood, even if their bra size was the only thing "adult" about them. I dunno, I know it happens all the time, but that doesn't mean that it's okay for these kids to be out looking for daddy. Listen to Loveline sometime to see what Dr. Drew and Adam have to say about girls looking for guys that much older than them.

    ? But it is a big deal. It just so happens that it's been happening the same, identifiable way for a long time, especially in this particular subculture of rich, stupid Manhattanites.

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