December 7, 2004

You Had Me At 'Explosive'

On the supposedly squeamish subject of men and diaper changing: I've always figured that any gender who can create (and turn into a box office success) a movie like Dumb & Dumber should have absolutely no trouble working the business end of a baby.

And so, as I look around online to see if all those bananas she ate yesterday might be the cause of the kid's excruciating and nap-delaying constipation, the last remedy on babycenter's list catches my eye:

Inserting a lubricated thermometer about an inch into your baby's rectum may bring about the same results [as a suppository]. However, some pediatricians discourage parents from using the thermometer technique because you could potentially injure your baby's bowel wall if you insert it too far or at the wrong angle. Be prepared for an explosive bowel movement if you try this method.[italics added]
Um, ok, but how, exactly do you prepare?

If only there were a line of Dumb & Dumber parenting videos...

Constipation: A common problem for babies [babycenter]
A dad runs away from EBM at DisneyWorld [wdisneyw, search the page for 'shopping']
Why Are New Moms So Moody? [Parents magazine has trouble pushing out the hard science]
Call it baby prep: buy Dumb & Dumber on DVD [amazon]


The suppositories are a good thing if your kid's uncomfortable. My ped's office explained to me that they are not medicine, just something to lube the track, so to speak. Cut them in half lenghwise if they don't stay in. (For the record, I've tried the thermometer method without success).

here's more proof on the moody front. I continue to love our blog, btw.

A teaspoon of prune juice in the bottle. I googled it and HOLY CATS. 5...4...3...2...1.. It was all over me. Effective so proceed with caution, people.

Bananas are VERY constipating! So, don't administer any kind of drug or butt poke, merely give a good belly massage.

I've recommended this before, so let me find the link, doo dee doo doo dee doo doo doo dee doo dee, ah here it is:

I swear by bowel massage for the little feller - it has never failed me.

"I swear by bowel massage for the little feller"

I'm waiting to see that on a t-shirt

I'd read that thermometer trick, too, but thought there's no way that possibily works.

As for hurting the little guy, I bought a thermometer that has a little raised mark on it to show you how far is too far.

Oh, yes, the thermometer works. Sometimes you have to gently wiggle it around a bit. It stimulates the internal sphincter to relax and expel the contents, sometimes forcefully. Ask any pediatric nurse... the babies all seem to poop when you take their temps in their rear. Of course no method works in every situation so if that doesn't do the trick, try the glycerine suppositories, or else the teeny tiny baby enemas.

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