August 24, 2006

Improbable Movies From Children's Books, In Increasing Order Of Likely Suckitude

tom_hanks_polar_express.jpgI really hope the list of people haunted by visions of the The Cat in The Hat movie is not confined to Gitmo prisoners. If even a couple of studio executives are on it, we may not have to see the following film adaptations of children's books, all of which are [reportedly and painfully] real and consuming resources and time that aren't being devoted to AIDS orphans in Africa or global warming:

  • Where The Wild Things Are [1], directed by Spike Jonze. Writing credits: Dave Eggers, Michael "Contact" Goldenberg, Spike Jonze, Maurice Sendak. Producers: Tom Hanks, & other unindicted Polar Express and Superman Returns co-conspirators.
  • Everyone Poops, based on Taro Gomi's narrative-free classic. It doesn't help that Paul Provenza, who made The Aristocrats, optioned the book for himself.
  • The Hungry Caterpillar, film and TV rights reportedly sold last year for £1 million, but I can't find any more details. Sounds like the kind of Carle-ian, self-aggrandizing hype that leads one to name a children's book art museum after oneself, though. Just sayin'. ["First Fridays @ The Carle" "The Carle"??]

    More discussion at The A.V. Club, which inspired this post. If anyone has suggestions for picture books I should be optioning and developing into films, feel free to share. And I'll feel free to steal your idea.

    [1] Too late, it's already in production. I can only hope Jonze wins out over the bland forces of Hanks-ian motion capture evil. Fat chance, though.

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