February 2, 2005

Angel Alert Tells You What You Should Already Know

angel_alert.gifSay you're at the beach, or in a crowded mall, airport, theme park, or stadium. If you turn your head for even a second, your child could suddenly be 30 feet away from you without your even realizing it. What do you do?

YOU need Angel Alert, the electronic child distance monitor. With Angel Alert, you'll know when your kid has hit the 10 yard mark.

To use it, simply detach the transmitter from the receiver and put it around your child's neck. If your child strays too far, the Angel Alert will deliver a harmless but incapacitating electric shock to the child. No, to the parent. No, wait, it just beeps. No shocking, what do you think this is, Florida?

I also gather from the commercial that the Angel Alert goes off if your child gets too close to someone with darker skin than yours, a very useful feature for the table of chatty, blonde, sweet tea-sipping mothers featured.

No word on whether you can adjust the Angel Alert, either for distance or for the paper bag test. [There goes the New Orleans market.] Also, it doesn't say how you manage more than one Alert. Does a mother of three have one receiver? [no.] Does each kid get his own ringtone, so you know who's run off? Is it like Sophie's Choice, which kid you'll decide to keep track of?

And I guess you'd never want to swap the transmitter and receiver, and teach your kid to get his butt back here if it ever goes off. I mean, who's the one getting trained here, the kid or the parent?

Finally, there's mention of "line of sight," which makes me wonder if these things are infrared, not radio-based; if so, why not add some more functionality? If not a disciplinary shock, then how about a good, sharp yell? You could just push the button on your remote, and then you could continue on with your conversation. The possibilities are endless.

Angel Alert Child Distance Monitor, $39.99 for one, $69.99 for two ["As seen on TV" and on angelalert.net]
Previously: Legoland Kidspotter: track your kid with wi-fi

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