May 14, 2004

Wifebeater Onesies?

wifebeater not-Onesies, from babiesrus.comYeah, they're technically for wearing with little sleeveless dresses or whatever, but if you combine these wifebeater Onesies ∆ bodysuits* with a pair of baggy black pants and a do-rag, you can turn your kid into a gang-bangin' little cholito.

Update: American Apparel also has plain old baby wifebeaters, which are as well-made and sweatshop-free as the rest of their products.

Next up: low-rider strollers.

* see below

* Not only are "wifebeater onesies" not Onesies∆, they may not be Wifebeaters∆. You see, Onesie ∆ is a trademark of Gerber Childrenswear, Inc., and it is a brand of such quality and repute that it would never, it turns out, sully its image with something like a "wifebeater." Also, I haven't heard definitively, but I'm pretty sure Gerber Childrenswear, Inc. does NOT condone either wifebeating or gang activity in ANY WAY, and to imply otherwise is to impugn a thoroughly upstanding company who has been taking care of this country's children--our FUTURE--for a generation or more. And I won't stand for that. Besides that, Wife Beater∆ turns out to be the registered trademark of the F.O.O.T. Entertainment Corporation of Miami, FL, representatives of whom would no doubt whup your ass for infringing on their intellectual property, except I think they only get phone priveleges on Thursdays, and they'd have to call you collect. This pretty much shoots my "wifebeater onesie" joke to pieces right here...

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