May 10, 2004

Lessons from that first Mother's Day

If your kid's already born, it's a day late. Otherwise, it's 364 days early. Here are a couple of lessons I learned on our first Mother's Day that new dads may find useful:

1) On the way to Ikea Friday, I heard an NPR interview with Lynne Truss about her book, Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation. As I was trading stroller notes with the lesbian couple in the hotdog bar line, I made a mental note: for them, it's not Mother's Day but Mothers' Day. Think twice about pointing this out to lesbian strangers, however, even at Ikea.

2) Home Depot has really great orchids. Open late Saturday, open on Sunday, and cheap. PLUS, you gain the element of surprise; nothing throws mom off your flower-buying track better than an off-hand, "Be right back. Goin' to Home Depot."

3) Breakfast in bed. You'll be making pancakes every Mother's Day for the next 15+ years, but this will be the only year you get credit for it; Starting next year, the kid will be "making" breakfast.

4) For those pancakes, you'll need milk. From a store. Do not use breastmilk. She spent too much time pumping to have it wasted in your burnt pancakes. Besides, this (presumably) is not China. Also off the menu: baby formula. The kid's diapers and burps stink for a reason: formula tastes NASTY.

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