July 23, 2012

It Was The Juice. It Was The Juice.


Dateline, Emerald Isle, NC--So tonight while the grownups are eating dinner, my brother-in-law is running herd on the kids out on the deck. He's bouncing his 1yo on his shoulders. And as I look out the window, I see that, with every bounce, his kid is squirting poo out the top of their diaper. It's like if, in middle school, instead of ketchup, you had little packets of squash soup to stomp on.

Most of the time, it cleared my brother-in-law's back and just splatted on the deck. But this is one of those cases where 'most of the time' really is not good enough.

[note: I know their is incorrect, but with two brothers-in-law with 1yo kids, if I were to use the appropriate gender pronoun, it'd give it away which one it was. And I figured possibly implicating both of them is more interesting than just narcing him out. But my sister did attribute it to the kid's dramatically increased juicebox intake.]


Don't let the grammar pedants grind you down, especially when they're wrong. "They" as gender-neutral or -indeterminate singular pronoun has been in use in English since the days of Chaucer. Grammarians, by contrast, have only been around for a couple hundred years.

Sorry for grinding the axe, but this is a peeve of mine.

verily, I fay thanks for your fupport.

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