September 1, 2011

DTQ: What Makes A Horrible Restaurant High Chair?

Thanks to the SEO spammer who responded to the 4-year-old question about what makes a nice restaurant high chair with the highly unbelievable answer: more polypropylene, horrible design, krazy spelling, and pretending your kids love the colors!

In other words, the KiddiKone. You can look it up yourself.


It did make me wonder, though, just how low the bar is for restaurant high chairs. It's really almost never a question of what do you want, but what will you put up with for an hour, or 20-30 minutes.

Because once you're seated, and getting settled, it seems the decision's already made, and it's not like a ghetto busted high chair is going to make you turn and leave. [Though it may make you decide never to go back.]

I guess I wonder what the bare minimum of acceptability is, which is the point you never want to find yourself at, the moment where you seriously consider buying one of those quilted high chair/grocery cart covers. Let the shuddering begin.


It appears there is nothing approximating a foot rest, so the kid will be quite uncomfortable starting about 5 minutes into the experience.

Also, the pictured kid is probably old enough to sit on a booster seat, not in an actual high chair. Maybe the smaller kids couldn't be bribed to pretend it was fun.

Was that chair sculpted by this guy?

Hahaha, we just watched that the other day. Dreyfuss throwing his yard into the kitchen window was the kid's favorite part. Small child and mom terrorized by loud lights and appliances, not so much.

We were once in a Korean restaurant where they dragged out a plastic POS from the 80s that had basically never been cleaned. It took some convincing to keep my wife from grabbing the kid and heading for the exit.

I can't see why any restaurant wouldn't have the standard wooden, stackable, flip-upside-down-able to fit an infant car seat, indestructible (aside from the belt) high chair. These are in most restaurants and are perfect.

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