June 20, 2009

The DT Token Father's Day Story Contest!

Alright, this one will be quick. DT's minivan correspondent JJ Daddy-O has challenged us to a contest, and I think we can't back down.

So get out there and find the most ridiculously patronizing Father's Day story you can find, whether it's from your local media or some national or international source who you think'd know better. Then put a the headline, the source, and a link in the comments below. If there's a special WTF Bonus Quote, add that, too.

All Mr. Mom stories are, of course, welcome. As are any and all "Lose your job? Get a dadblog!" stories, and all "Look at that, a man changing a diaper!" stories. Find a good old-fashioned conservative lament about the emasculated state of modern dads? Bring it on! Sappy, thoughtful claptrap about the importance of dads that'll be promptly ignored for another 360 days? Can't get enough!

We'll go until midnight EST Thursday, June 25, so get your submissions in early. If someone has already posted your local news station's token Father's Day story, just look one county over. I'm sure there are plenty to go around.

First prize will be a new Nintendo DSi. I got it seemingly at random from their publicists a couple of months ago, and I was finally going to sell it on eBay and give the money to charity. But instead, it'll go to a worthy home. I'll add another couple of prizes from the DT prize hopper, TBD. Check back.

As always, the winner will be chosen at random from the valid email addresses you provide when you comment. [addresses which aren't published on the site or shared or used for anything else, btw.] Up to three entries will be allowed per person, but please post each separately; it helps me manage the drawing.

Here's JJ Daddy-O's entry, which raises the bar so high, we HAVE to do a random drawing. Damn, but I hate the phrase, "man up":

From the Savannah Morning News: "Dads man up to be Mr. Moms"

update: which makes me think someone in Savannah reads Salon: "Dude, man up and start acting like a mom"


Out of a job and into the home
Tough financial times have forced some dads to assume a new role: househusband

Tasteless retail book display for Father's Day:


"Gone are the days when dads' only chores were washing the car, taking out the garbage and mowing the grass. These days, he's not only bringing home the bacon; he's frying it for the family's breakfast as well."


And my favorite, "Father's Day: Meat Fest, free hats," because it's local...


"Build dad a sundial for Father’s Day" at http://www.examiner.com/examiner/x-8518-Norfolk-Gardening-Examiner~y2009m6d19-Build-dad-a-sundial-for-Fathers-Day

""Stay-at-Home Dad Workouts" - Sketch" (humor, I think, but made more funny/pitiful because they really do sell videos like this to *moms.*) http://www.last-pictures.com/v2/workout.html

"From tools to ties, great gifts for Dad: Check out these thoughtful presents guaranteed to make your man smile this Father's Day" The link should take you to the worst of the offerings, which are written with peculiar "humor" "Personalized steak: OK, so dogs pee on things to mark their territory. This personalized steak brander is the more civilized, human equivalent for men. Watch him beam with pride as he serves his initialed chops at the next backyard BBQ." It's really rather insulting, I think. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24861374/ns/fathers_day_guide/?pg=16#TDY_Fathers_Gifts

This one isn't specifically Father's Day related, but was funny: http://www.docshare.com/doc/195299/Man-Babies-DAD-PART-1 -- Photoshopped pictures swap Dad's and Kid's heads.

My local newspaper: Big Brothers Make a Difference (because not all father figures are really dads)


"Detroit's Hottest Dad Runner Up"

"Paul Schwarz will often plan a daddy-daughter outing with 3 1/2-year-old Lauren to give mom Michelle a break!"


[my wife was threatening to nominate me for this contest]

From The Globe and Mail (which is really a national paper, but it's what we read):

"In praise of the strong, silent dad"


I came across this one and thought you needed to see it. Eeek!


Ah, to be nekkid in Dawsonville. I don't think I can imagine anything more fabulous.....

Wow, I think ads are eligible, too. that is priceless [which is even better than free].

Wow, Honey... and to think we just wasted our vacation on a State Park!

I wouldn't have guessed GA state parks allowed nudity.

From the Denver Post:

"The perils of being a new dad"


Too many WTF quotes to include....

President Obama hosts fatherhood event at White House

"...A father’s presence in a child’s life is precious..."
--SecTrans Ray LaHood, feat. Bobby Flay


Because we're idiots, CNN and Careerbuilder offer working dads some tips on how to schedule more time with our kids. Tip #1: Communicate! (Apparently you can do this with words, not just grunts, pointing, and chest-thumping.)


It's still a tip we've always needed to learn, at least as far back as every episode of Three's Company.

from the Miami Herald:

First-time Fathers Eager for Front-Line Parenting Duty
" ... according to research at the University of Washington, when men contribute more domestically, their wives found them sexier. The women, researchers found, interpreted their husband's domestic help as a sign of nurturing and love and it fueled feelings of sexual attraction."

Now we know why these new dads are so "eager." Just proves guys will do almost anything for sex!

"Greeting cards misrepresent 'new fatherhood'"


That nudist one is rather amusing -- I couldn't find it on the web, though, and the resort website has nothing like that on their special offers page. I wonder if it's from years ago? Things were different in the 70s!

And in the 50s -- lots of pictures here with text about Father's Day:

Our local newspapers created a "mom" Web site last year. One of the features is a "mom" of the month. This is the "mom" for June:


This was their obligatory front page Sunday story:


wow, Mr Mom of the Month. that has to have some kind of award right there.

That Savannah Morning News one needs to win just because of the play on the author's name in the column title "Hart to Heart" (by Annie Hart). I almost stopped reading right there...

"Philippine boy accidentally kills dad on Father's Day" isn't so much patronizing as it is WTF.

The boy was six, and his dad asked him to get the gun from upstairs. The boy, surprisingly, knew how to remove the magazine from the gun. The boy, unsurprisingly, didn't think to check the chamber for a bullet. The boy, unsurprisingly, pulled the trigger, thinking the gun was completely empty.

I'll save the last sentence of that news story for you to read.

Kudos for listing some "daddy blogs" but beginning with the following?

"Like steamed broccoli beside a plate of ooey gooey mac and cheese, daddy blogs have been ignored for the longest time"

lololol, that image makes me want to get back into the dadblog t-shirt business

From the local paper here in DC, where we claim to be above the fray (we're all so educated and politically connected, did I tell you who I saw at Old Ebbitt Grill today?):


Quotes like:

"It feels good, it feels organic," [Smith] said of the Dads group. "Sometimes moms want to go sit at the mall and have a bubble tea, and I'm like, what's a bubble tea?"

If Daddytypes could alter the region's pull towards the inane....

Dads Get Creative on Father's Day

Some dads showed their daughters just how much they love them today...by dressing up like Dora the Explorer.

WOWK TV http://wowktv.com/story.cfm?func=viewstory&storyid=61433

'nuff said

Two-year-old 'world's youngest smoker': dad taught him


'The father also says he didn't realized how serious Tong's habit had become.'

That's it, the contest is closed, thanks to everyone for entering, and stay tuned for the email announcement of the winner.

Also, feel free to keep adding ridiculous father's day stories to the list.

I nominate Jim's "Dora" clip for the random winner. That's what random means, right?

Andrew. thanks for reminding me to post the result.

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