October 17, 2008

DT Friday Freakout: WTFormula Edition

Here, let me ruin your parenting weekend with worry and annoyances torn from the headlines and the annals of way-too-preliminary research:


"HEY MOMS!" Holy crap, Similac's new pack could be the greatest thing since Nabisco Double Stuff Oreo-flavored formula, but it's a swift kick in the nuts for anyone who has them. Not only is the SimplePac [tm] "Designed With Moms for Moms," which somehow renders every otherwise gender-neutral ergonomic design element completely useless to non-women. Similac actually includes a whiny little fake carpenter named Ty Pennington to fake flirt with you in every pack. Not even Obama can save America from its hopelessly annoying formula spokesmodels. Also, TURN DOWN THE VOLUME ON THE WEBSITE, TY! THE KID'S TRYING TO SLEEP! [similacsimplepac.com via dt freakout correspondent sara]


Did you know that The Pill was banned in Japan for decades because the overwhelmingly middle-aged male Diet, the Japanese parliament, said there wasn't enough research done on the slutmedicine's safety? But then within five minutes of Viagra hitting the market in the US, they approved it for sale in Japan? It was so baldly sexist, the public outcry forced the crazy old men to finally lift the birth control ban, too. True story.

Not sure why the AP report that German researchers have found testicular stem cells may be as versatile and therapeutically useful as embryonic stem cells, only without the ethical dilemmas made me think of that. [ap/google]

Does anyone still worry about BPA? Really? We solved the BPA Crisis of 2008 with glass bottles. Or to be more precise, we replaced the BPA Crisis of 2008 with the Glass Bottle's Too Heavy For K2 To Hold By Herself, Now Her Grams Worries We're Raising A Lazy Freeloader Crisis of 2008. Also, legal and health officials in a patchwork of states have asked a patchwork of baby gear companies to please stop using BPA. Sounds simple! [ap/yahoo via sara]

You know what sounds even simpler? How about a national declaration that BPA is a hazard to human health, coupled with a ban on the chemical's use in baby bottles? Because that's what Health Canada just did a couple of hours ago. [canada.com, also canplastics.com]

The American Academy of Pediatrics doubled the recommended daily dose of Vitamin D for kids, citing studies showing that most kids aren't getting enough as it is. Turns out breastfed babies are 10x more likely to have a Vitamin D deficiency. Now I'm no breastfeeding spokesmodel, but if hitting the numbers is so important, maybe they should be lowering them instead of jacking them up? Just sayin'. [time]

umas bosomas, via ap somewhere

And lastly, I thought the big story here would be about the BYU researchers who said newborns could tell "happy" Beethoven songs from "sad" ones. How wrong I was:

A test in 1989 by psychologist Peter Hepper, from Queen's University, Belfast, monitored pregnant women who watched Neighbours, but no other soap. When the babies were born, scientists played the theme tune of the Aussie soap and found the tots' heart beats lowered. But when they listened to the themes of other soaps, there was no difference to their heart beats.
Holy St. Patrick, BabyPlus is right after all! At least in Ireland with Australian soap opera music. My deepest apologies. [raisingkids.co.uk]


And that new Similac container is two ounces smaller, yet for the same price. *THAT* was the kick in the nuts for me...

Shouldn't formula be mostly marketed to people without functioning mammary glands? Or in other words people with nuts?

Sick and tired of gimmicky packaging. Disposable items like formula containers shouldn't be over-engineered with hinges, scoop holders and extra contours. (I'm reminded of Spinal Tap's Break Like the Wind that came in an extra-long box -- even more recyclable material). That said, I do like the contoured bottom that appears to make it easier to scoop out the last bits of formula. May be good to buy one of these and then refill it with our favorite Kirkland formula from Costco.

Careful - next they'll make it even easier for mom's by selling them "mannaries" (from "Meet The Parents").

Just convince mom to get those on dad, and they can feel better about not breastfeeding because dad is doing it.

That Uma Thurman 'shopped pic is frightening.
Took me a second to wrap my head around a shoulder becoming a breast.

not 'shopped, it's a shadow.

And, of course, things are designed WITH moms. Not BY moms, because moms couldn't possibly be in the workplace, and if they were, they couldn't be designers. Oh no.

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