August 22, 2008

I Spit On Your Five Second Rule [And Put It Right Back On The Tray]

Seriously, screw the Five Second Rule. We have the Our Floor/Not Our Floor Rule.

But now that's not enough. So I ask you:

How many times do you return a piece of food to the kid's tray after it gets thrown onto the floor? Obviously, the answer is greater than one. But is it 3? 5? Infinity? Until it's too mushy and sticky to eat? Does it matter if it's dry like a rice cake or wet like, uh a partially gnawed on rice cake? Or does it just matter whether there's fuzz on it or not?

Related: Clemson scientists study the 5-second rule. Seriously.


Seriously, the 10 month old scavenges Cheerios off of the floor. I gave up on 5 sec, or anytime for that matter when #2 was born.


I'd say around 5 times, on your floor, not (too) fuzzy. Perhaps different if they are picking up the food off (your) floor themselves. But I base 5x on that being about how much patience I have, not as a cleanliness model. After 5x, you lose it. And maybe you're not hungry anymore :)

Brocoli... once
Cheerios, crackers... 3-5
Bacon... infinity

Depends on who gets to it first - the dog or the kid. :P

Well, considering we have a 160 pound hair & drool machine in the form of a Saint Bernard and the fact that the kid (21 months) loves to eat sand and poop sandcastles, I figure as long as it doesn't have hair or any major bits of dirt on it, it's good to eat. Only pad thai noodles don't make the return trip more than once since they disintegrate a bit more quickly than average. :)

The kid never gets sick so maybe the exposure is good for her. :)

Depends how old the kid is. Is s/he playing the "can I get Daddy to pick this up again" game? Then the answer is zero.

If you're asking for grossness evaluation, well, that will depend on circumstances.

We have a clear qualification process at our house:
1. Does it need a shave? FAIL
2. If no shave needed, SUCCESS
2b. Might it qualify as "self-flossing"? FAIL
3. Is it dog/cat food? SUCCESS
3b. Has it transformed into dog/cat food? FAIL
3c. Is the dog/cat pissed off about someone else eating it? FAIL
3d. Did it "used to be" dog/cat food? FAIL
4. Is it non-swallowable? SUCCESS
4b. Is it non-edible? QUALIFIES FOR INFINITY RULE (except where in contact with 2b, 3b, or 3d).

The Visio workflow is available upon request.

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